North Haven Gardens Is Weeding Out the Worst In Landscaping and Lawnery
A few months ago, we took some time to show you what it's like inside the creative mind of Ches Campbell, a landscape architect. He showed us what it's like to be that guy who creates a scene green thumbs long to touch.
Well, it's pretty clear that not everyone has his brand of talent. But you shouldn't have to just lie down and suffer the ridicule of neighborhood children, your spouse, the mail carrier, mockingbirds (naturally) and people who put menus on your doorknobs just because your lawn looks like ass.
What if things were different? What if you could receive praise for how shitty your garden looked and maybe even get a little afternoon delight?
Lucky for you, a group of gardeners from North Haven took some time to set up the first ever Ugly Garden Contest 2011 so, you can regain some of your dignity.
An Evening With Kim Fields
TicketsFri., Nov. 4, 8:15pm
24-HOUR FILMFEAST Featuring the Films of Thomas Allen Harris
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Casa Manana Presents Million Dollar Quartet
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Scott Joplin Chamber Orchestra Of Houston
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MARIA BAMFORD LIVE
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It's time to put down the shovel and weed killer for a moment and discuss the details of this challenge.
Once you're done putting out the grass fire, it is time to snap a few pics of your how-did-you-get-it-to-look-like-road-kill garden, print them out and submit your collection of gems to North Haven Gardens.
Five of the most heinous and God-forsaken gardens will be selected August 26, which gives you plenty of time to inadvertently make your garden look like death in an effort to improve it, try to bring it back from death, or perform a full range of experiments to prove that , somehow, you leak a chemical toxic to plants. Gardeners from North Haven will then make a special trip to your lawn and see just how passionate you are about your
All finalists will receive a free -- the best things in life always are -- in-store meeting with a North Haven Garden instructor.
After all the damage is done, the biggest, baddest plant killer will be selected on September 2.
Alas, there's always some kind of catch. Your garden must be listed in the approved zip code areas to participate. See below if you're zip code is listed. No, those aren't the winning lottery numbers for tonight.
Area 1: 75205, 75214, 75218, 75225, 75229, 75231, 75238, 75240, 75243, 75244, 75248, 75251, 75254, 75080 or 75081. Area 2: 75007, 75010, 75023, 75024, 75025, 75042, 75044, 75074, 75075, 75082, 75093, 75204, 75208, 75209, 75219, 75220, 75228, 75234, 75235, 75248, 75252, 75287.
If by, some gracious act of kindness, your garden is chosen as the biggest train wreck these people have seen since the discovery of global warming, you'll be awarded some nifty prizes.
There's an all expense-paid trip to the Bahamas -- just kidding. But, you and a friend do get to spend a day in a Gardening 101 class on September 11. This class will allow you will the skills needed to prepare, support and plant for next season. Then there's a $500 gift certificate to North Haven Gardens. Sounds nicer than Home Depot, no? To further sweeten the deal there are two free -- again, that word that everyone loves to see -- 45-minute in-store sessions with Kay Nelson, gardening extraordinaire.
Finally, you get five minutes of fame because your face will be plastered all over Crimes Against Horticulture. This is one of the rare occasions where it pays off to be a killer.
We wish the best of luck in your assassination of green things, ladies and gents, though, we're not entirely confident you can beat many of the "yards" with which we at the Mixmaster can throw down.
For more information about the contest visit nhg.com/uglygardens.
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