How does one go about earning the title of lingerie expert? Perhaps the claim requires years of graduate study, or maybe a correspondence course out in Montana sends syllabuses and silicone samples to novice panty-purveyors in training. The means behind getting that certification aren't entirely clear, but self-proclaimed lingerie expert Martha McGuinness must have somehow aced the test. She comes to Victoria's Secret at the Galleria, 13340 Dallas Parkway, on Friday from noon to 2 p.m. to present Bra & Beauty 101: Unlocking the Secrets, where she will impart negligee knowledge that catalog addicts only wish they knew. This free two-hour journey into all things lace features runway models, fashion tips and "insider info," which we're pretty sure will include advice better than "Wear your underwear inside of your outfit." Personal bra fittings will also be available. When you leave the store, if you see a redheaded guy in a Dallas Observer T-shirt standing by and offering personal bra un-fittings, don't be shy. He's a lingerie expert, too. Call 212-884-3973. --Sam Machkovech
Drinking Lessons
7/23
Don't go to a party and have the host open the door to discover you empty-handed. Sure, they'll be nice, but they're really thinking, "Wouldn't hurt to bring a bottle of wine." You wanted to, but what goes with smoked salmon? Get schooled on wine at the 20th Annual Lone Star Wine Competition at the DFW Lakes Executive Conference Center in Grapevine. Get an introduction to wine at 9 a.m. July 24 and get advanced with pairing at 1:30 p.m. July 25. Afterward you can enjoy 300 vintages and food samples. The beginner's course is $55, and the advanced course is $70 at the door. The tasting costs $30. Call 817-424-0570. --Jenice Johnson
Back Tracks
7/24
Never Look Back isn't the kind of imperative you'd expect from lounge singer Ricki Derek. With his snappy suits and honeyed voice, Derek is a throwback to the golden age of golden throats, when Caesar's Palace was king and Frank and Dean-o held the highest court. And yet, Never Look Back is the name of Ricki Derek's new mockumentary (presumably the more emphatic version of Bob Dylan's classic biopic Dont Look Back), which chronicles Derek's Night OH! Cabaret, a comedy and variety show featuring such unforgettable characters as Olaf the Flamboyant and the Reverend Maker's Mark. Cast members will be in attendance at the film's premiere on Saturday at 8 p.m. at the Lakewood Theater, where Never Look Back will be for sale on DVD. Expect goofball comedy, vaudeville shenanigans and the irrepressible Derek himself, who can make the ladies swoon and the chandeliers shimmy. Never look back? As if. Tickets are $3 or $15 with the DVD. See www.numbsville.com for more information. --Sarah Hepola
