This Reality TV Casting Call Is Your Chance to Be Horrible on Big Brother

Don't let this be you, or do. It's your life.
Don't let this be you, or do. It's your life.
CBS

Hey there, horrible human being. We see you, scrolling and judging and probably eating over your keyboard, leaving impossible to reach crumbs forever wedged beneath the J key. Don't try to hide your awfulness because we see you and it's only fair that America sees you too.

Big Brother casting is coming to Dallas, so it's time you stop backstabbing Susan in HR and start backstabbing Jim in the Big Brother house.

There is an open casting call from noon to 3 p.m. April 11 at Levu Discotheque. The instructions are simple.

"IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON ATTENDING AN OPEN CALL, ALL YOU NEED TO BRING IS A FORM OF ID AND A GREAT ATTITUDE."

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Oh, shut up, Big Brother casting call people. Stop being all "big brother" on us and be more "Big Brother" on us. We all know no nice person has ever survived on this show. They are disposable. They are forgettable. They are little Carly Rae Jepsens in a sea of Miley Cyruses. Don't bring along your great attitudes. Bring what the people want: a thirst for fame and money, much like Dina Lohan.

If you've made it this far into the blog post and don't even know what Big Brother is, please let us inform you. It's a reality TV game show where several houseguests live together under one roof. All of their actions and words are recorded and they have no contact with the outside world. The houseguests vote each week on who they want evicted. It all depends on different things. We don't know; use your imagination. "Big Brother" is a phrase that comes from George Orwell's 1984 book. Remember sophomore English class? Think about it. Think about it. BAM. Yes, it's a TV show now and it's one you must audition for. Eventually there's a winner and that winner wins a shit ton of money. It's America. It's 1984 2015. It's what we do.


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