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OMG Jason Timberlake just ate a sandwich #sayitwasareuben.
Wanna c pics of cats?
Lisn to my new podcast about puppets @whocaresthatwascoolsixyearsago
Are you over it yet? Do you wish you could tune it all out and silence the constant updates on your Twitter feed? What would you do with that zen time? (By the way, you have 246 new tweets.) Shitter, the personalized toilet paper printed with selected Twitter updates, has one big idea. Wipe your ass with 'em. Choose your own horrible Tweets, or those of someone you reluctantly follow. Go to getshitter.com and access its app, soon you'll be trolling through every 140 character illumination that you or anyone else has ever posted to the internet abyss -- first you'll realize that nobody is really all that funny, next you'll want to wipe your ass with it.
For $35 dollars via Pay Pal, you'll receive four, 2-ply rolls of the tweet stuff. Next, silence that cell phone, grab five tacos and a big cup of coffee and go have some you time.