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2006 Stories by Alice Laussade

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  • Russ Riffs

    published December 28, 2006

    Arguably the lamest holiday of the year, New Year's Eve boils down to a celebration of one thing: relationships. Every year at the stroke of... More >>

  • Pimp Your Gingerbread

    published December 28, 2006

    Recipe for a Gingerbread Village: Gather ingredients. With an electric mixer, cream 100 pounds of butter and 80 pounds of sugar until... More >>

  • Your Christmas Yet to Come

    published December 21, 2006

    A Christmas Carol is my favorite Christmas story (right before Die Hard). I watch the George C. Scott version every year. And... More >>

  • A Christmas Tradition

    published December 21, 2006

    Every family has its holiday traditions. Maybe your family puts meaningful ornaments on your gigantic Christmas tree together. Or, every year, you... More >>

  • The Prince of Tideland

    published December 14, 2006

    When you leave the theater after seeing a good movie, you might say, "Wow! That was great." When you leave the theater after a bad movie, you... More >>

  • E-V-Oh, no

    published December 7, 2006

    The first time I saw Rachael Ray on the Food Network, she was teaching her viewers how to prepare a frozen bag of mixed veggies for dinner.... More >>

  • Get in Line

    published November 30, 2006

    For me, parades are a perfect storm: They draw huge crowds of people (which scare me), and they include giant inflatable Santas (which scare me... More >>

  • Paper Or Plastic?

    published November 30, 2006

    Damn you people. You know that you have more than 10 items in your basket, but you pull into the express lane anyway. When everyone else in line... More >>

  • Say It. Spell It. Say It Again.

    published November 23, 2006

    As a kid, participating in spelling bees was a lose/lose situation. Spell a word wrong onstage in front of all of your friends and you look like... More >>

  • Screw Playstation 3

    published November 23, 2006

    Velveteen Rabbit is pissed: PlayStation 3 is here, Barbie's Dream House is now three stories tall, and Tickle Me Elmo learned Spanish. How's a... More >>

  • Daytime Drama

    published November 16, 2006

    The best days in elementary school were the days we got to skip out of class. Once, my mom wrote me a fake doctor's note so I could get out of... More >>

  • This Chili's Just Right

    published November 9, 2006

    I know you love to judge. You're just a big ol' bag of judgment love. When Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got together, you were all, "Isn't he gay?"... More >>

  • Say Again?

    published November 2, 2006

    Bust out the absinthe and hide your guns, everybody: Vincent Van Gogh is in the house. From now until January 7, the Dallas Museum of Art (or, as... More >>

  • Abraham, Martin and Ossie

    published November 2, 2006

    You've visited the Book Depository, the Grassy Knoll and the X in the street at least a hundred times. You've listened to all the facts, bought... More >>

  • Forever Young

    published October 26, 2006

    Halloween is my favorite holiday for two reasons: (1) It's the only day of the year you can take candy from strangers without getting felt up, and... More >>

  • Chainsaw Blues

    published October 19, 2006

    Have you seen the previews for Employee of the Month—that romantic comedy about discount superstore employees? I can't guarantee that... More >>

  • Show Your Bones

    published October 12, 2006

    The undead walk among us. From Joan Rivers to Michael Jackson, they're everywhere. And the only way we're getting rid of them is by bludgeoning... More >>

  • Tumbling Tumbleweeds

    published October 5, 2006

    Who sings "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" better than Gene Autry? Nobody. He made that song one of the best-selling singles of all time. I think... More >>

  • Prime Time

    published October 5, 2006

    Right now, there's an episode of Law and Order on TV. And here's how it goes: If it's the beginning of the show (DUN DUN), someone just... More >>

  • Fried Magic

    published September 28, 2006

    Sweet fried Tilt-A-Whirl, it's time! Friday through October 22, your chance to eat like you have a third stomach and scream your lungs out in... More >>

  • Greek To Us

    published September 28, 2006

    No-talent American Idol finalist Constantine Maroulis is once again ready to serenade you breathily and in no particular key. He's... More >>

  • Seasoned Premiere

    published September 21, 2006

    These days, Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher is looking more and more like Dr. Frank-N-Furter. I'm crossing my fingers that... More >>

  • The Beast That's Feast

    published September 21, 2006

    I think we can all agree that Gigli was the No. 1 horror movie of all time. Thanks to Ben Affleck's participation in the film, it became... More >>

  • Cheap Production

    published September 14, 2006

    To see a movie at the theater, you pay at least five bucks—and that's assuming they take that old, busted student I.D. of yours that says... More >>

  • Do It

    published September 14, 2006

    You: a gumshoe hunting a robber chick in a yellow coat. Them: Rockapella, the a cappella group that made the intro music so good. You... More >>

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