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2006 Stories by Clay Swartz

Archives: 2006
  • Of Thee I Sing

    published September 7, 2006

    When Michael Moore ruined American political documentaries with his impetuous voice, ugly beard and embarrassing white lies, the ever-seeking... More >>

  • Dirty, Dirty Man

    published August 31, 2006

    Jim Norton first gained publicity as a kid when he won the top score on an Asteroids arcade game in New Jersey. Now he pees his... More >>

  • Nice Tosh

    published August 24, 2006

    It's a bleak era for comedy. The laughers of the world are trapped with the underdeveloped humor of Carlos Mencia and the pointless dimwittedness... More >>

  • Sweet Virginia

    published August 17, 2006

    Virginia Woolf was an interesting woman. She was one of the most critically acclaimed literary figures of the 20th century and she had a huge... More >>

  • Rott 'n' Roll

    published August 10, 2006

    Rottweilers have a nasty reputation. When the most famous dog in the breed is Snot from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, there is... More >>

  • Wiggle It

    published August 3, 2006

    In what looks like a showcase of dancing Captain Kirks, the Wiggles are a group of four Australian men that have sung and danced their way... More >>

  • Risky Business

    published July 27, 2006

    For hundreds of years the French have been good for only three things: cheese, champagne and the phrase "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"... More >>

  • Eye in the Sky

    published July 20, 2006

    Have you ever been picnicking on a beautiful and breezy summer afternoon, enjoying a nice cheese sandwich and conversing with your significant... More >>

  • A Jubilant Journey

    published July 13, 2006

    The name Homer sucks. In the history of the world only two men of any significance have had the misfortune of being named Homer. One is a yellow... More >>

  • Down on the Farm

    published July 6, 2006

    It's 100 degrees outside, and the air smells like a dirty diaper, but stinking compost aside, this small farm has an understated allure about it.... More >>

  • Living in Sin

    published July 6, 2006

    If the Angelika in Mockingbird Station, with its unusually unblemished facade and persnickety taste in film, is the Jake Gyllenhaal of movie... More >>

  • Artists' Intuition

    published June 29, 2006

    Anyone with a Dallas County Community College education probably knows that Picasso, Van Gogh and Michelangelo were some of the greatest artists... More >>

  • OK! (L-A-H-O-M-A!)

    published June 22, 2006

    In the closest that the state of Texas will ever come to enthusiastically proclaiming the name of its northern bordering state, Rodgers and... More >>

Archives: 2006