Email Author Dave Faries

2000 Stories by Dave Faries

• Fowl Foods

  published December 28, 2000

  Rudyard Kipling maintained a sense of straightforward, unadorned realism about things. His strongest writings--"east is east and west is... More >>

• Big Brother's Diner

  published December 21, 2000

  Gilbert Garza starts his day at Suze by clipping a wireless phone to his belt. He then slips on a lightweight headset--the kind that doesn't... More >>

• Tipping the Scales

  published December 21, 2000

  Sometimes you wonder which extreme, gullibility or generosity, drives American dining behavior. As a people, we tip quite well. We're... More >>

• Pavlov's Diners

  published December 14, 2000

  A busy night at the Flying Saucer in Addison often forces patrons to park across the street and risk their lives in a mad dash across Montfort.... More >>

• American Cheese

  published December 14, 2000

  Upon leaving the White House way back when, President Eisenhower cautioned against the power of the military-industrial complex. Perhaps the old... More >>

• Don't Forget to Decompose Your Auk

  published December 7, 2000

  Europeans often scoff at America's apparent lack of unique tradition, especially around the holidays. Fruitcake, eggnog, and ham, for example, are... More >>

• *@#$% on a Stick

  published December 7, 2000

  Long before the advent of forks, spoons, ladles, and other eating utensils, humankind skewered meat on sharpened sticks. It remains one of our... More >>

• It's Xmas: Must Be Pizza

  published November 30, 2000

  Americans have always had problems with the old question of image vs. reality. For example, hard-partying George W. Bush represents good... More >>

• Don't Ask

  published November 30, 2000

  Fruitcakes are crucial to Western civilization. They've been around since Roman times--perhaps the same fruitcake--when Russell Crowe and his... More >>

• Hog Wild

  published November 23, 2000

  This time of year was hog-killing time in the old South. Back in the days before air conditioning, Prada, dentistry, and good taste forever... More >>

• Hot Lunch

  published November 16, 2000

  It's not unusual for men to hit on Missy Kutzor. But when a guy walked up to her during lunch at The Olive Garden, it caught her off guard. "He... More >>

• Fat City

  published November 16, 2000

  Americans consume too much fat. Or so we're told. Yet no less an authority than The Joy of Cooking contends that "avoiding it... More >>

• Help Wanted

  published November 9, 2000

  Ron Ferguson wrestles with the hard realities of economics every day. The general manager of the Coppertank Brewing Company in Dallas needs three... More >>

• Life's Not Fair

  published November 9, 2000

  Great questions confound the greatest of minds, forcing even legendary figures to shrivel up and crawl away in pure defeat. How do you untie the... More >>

• Naughty Takeout

  published November 2, 2000

  One day this summer, a thief walked off with a giant plastic sculpture from a restaurant in Tarpon Springs, Florida. The sculpture weighed 300... More >>

• Sinful Sustenance

  published November 2, 2000

  At some point in time, humans discovered sugar, salt, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, high-fructose corn syrup, and all of the other... More >>

• Bugs Add Flavor

  published October 26, 2000

  Roasted crickets taste a bit like popcorn. Really. Mealworm-infested pizza isn't bad, either--according to a Texas A & M entomology class in... More >>

• Hot Cars and Big Money

  published October 26, 2000

  Sometimes Jeremy Parker slides behind the wheel of a Lamborghini Diablo. More often he drives a Mercedes. But in rare moments of juvenile flair he... More >>

• Seeds of Discontent

  published October 19, 2000

  Those who lived through the anti-nuke rallies may think all other socio-political battlegrounds easy. Think again. A mere mention of the phrase... More >>

• Turning Green

  published October 19, 2000

  We might as well blame President Clinton for this. After all, the man who personally started all of those forest fires this summer and raised the... More >>

• Good Sports

  published October 12, 2000

  Things evolve. Well, everywhere outside of Kansas and a few pockets in the Deep South, things evolve. Consider for a moment the evolution of... More >>

• Burning Question

  published October 12, 2000

  You have to travel to see a Babe Ruth-autographed baseball. Most people fly to Syracuse, New York, rent a car, drive southeast for an hour or... More >>

• Burning Question

  published October 5, 2000

  Every once in a while, controversy seethes beneath the otherwise placid surface of American culture, waiting only for some incident to unleash its... More >>

• How Dry We Ain't

  published September 28, 2000

  Sure, Texas leads the nation in alcohol-related traffic deaths--1,734 in 1999--and the state's leniency toward drunk drivers costs it close to... More >>

• Fat Is Good

  published September 28, 2000

  Question: Is prime beef really prime? Every year in September, the otherwise drab streets of Monmouth, Illinois, erupt with all the color and... More >>