Gordon Keith

Latest Stories

  • 12 years ago

    Ninety-five percent of Americans profess to believing in God, yet only 78 percent admit to masturbating. Who's lying? I'll tell you who--girls. When it comes to religion, you've probably spent years coasting by, like most of us, on shoddy objectio...

  • 12 years ago

    Why are we so chronically dissatisfied that we have to make resolutions year after year? Because we suck, that's why. We are all fat, lazy, too controlling, not assertive enough. We all need to pay off our credit card, get a cheaper apartment, buy...

  • 13 years ago

    Want to know why I really like Cyndi Lauper? Because no one else does. Come on, guys, haven't you ever bopped your head to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"? Thought that "True Colors" really captured a mood? Masturbated to "She Bop"? No? Then screw me....

  • 16 years ago

    James McMurtry For the past 10 years, James McMurtry has spent his energy penning great songs and trying to avoid a certain Dallas sports-radio talk-show host. We both wish things were different. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome James McMurtr...

  • 16 years ago

    Monte Montgomery There are not too many things in this world that impress me outside of sex acts and Johnny Cash's pulse. But the first time I planted myself and watched singer-songwriter-guitarist Monte Montgomery perform, I was astonished. This ...

  • 16 years ago

    Mötley Crüe Dig out your ripped jeans, tease your hair like Adam Curry, and apply that peroxide: Mötley Crüe is celebrating the fact that, for the 18th straight year, they've had no band-member deaths with a show at Starplex Am...


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