Email Author Gregory Weinkauf

2003 Stories by Gregory Weinkauf

• Upper Middle Earth

  published December 18, 2003

  You know how it's often the ones we love whose flaws are most apparent? Well, when it comes to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the... More >>

• Limp Pianist

  published December 11, 2003

  Just when you thought it was safe to go back into Hungary and listen to a song that supposedly causes people to kill themselves, along comes... More >>

• Time Out of Mind

  published November 27, 2003

  Michael Crichton seems pretty clever. The doctor-screenwriter-novelist digs odd history (Eaters of the Dead, a.k.a. The 13th... More >>

• Kitty Litter

  published November 20, 2003

  If you're hankering for a movie about an awkward yet lovable "outsider" type who wanders into a pastel mock-up of Middle America and cajoles the... More >>

• Cruise Control

  published November 13, 2003

  Russell Crowe to his agent: "More Oscar-bait. Now." Agent, considering his cut of Crowe's $20 million payday: "Yes, sir." A possible scenario,... More >>

• Deus ex Machina

  published November 6, 2003

  A not terribly long time ago in an uninhabitable galaxy called Burbank, a generally astute movie studio founded by four Polish siblings alienated... More >>

• Ryan's Hope

  published October 30, 2003

  Remember that silly little-girl version of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally, snuffling "I'm difficult!" through a charming tantrum? Well,... More >>

• Love and Death

  published October 23, 2003

  Sometimes something so wonderful appears on the big screen that I want to leap up like a shameless non-professional and hug it. Such is the case... More >>

• Saint Veronica

  published October 16, 2003

  Veronica Guerin isn't at all a bad movie, and some kind things will be said about it here. But cynical appraisal also has its place,... More >>

• Diaper Dreams

  published October 2, 2003

  You gotta love John Sayles. No, really--you gotta, or else a mob of indie-minded cineastes will club you into submission. Sometimes it's... More >>

• Greetings to the New Brunette

  published September 25, 2003

  Recently, ornithologists in Antarctica made a startling discovery: Female emperor penguins, being forced against their wills to endure stern... More >>

• Ad-libbing on Tokyo Time

  published September 18, 2003

  Visualize Tokyo. Got it? Now add popular favorite Bill Murray doing his "lovable schmoe" shtick. Toss in American Rhapsody's up-and-comer... More >>

• Creeping Crud

  published September 11, 2003

  Once upon a time there was a guy named Sam Raimi. He grew up in Michigan and made amateur horror movies. He stuck with his hobby, and now he's a... More >>

• Angst in Their Pants

  published September 4, 2003

  Most will deny it, but inside every grown man lurks a hypersensitive adolescent girl. Allow me to tell you all about mine and to share some of my... More >>

• Below the Law

  published September 4, 2003

  It seems like everybody's raving up Mexican cinema these days--either as a merit badge of self-conscious hipness, or because the stuff is... More >>

• London Underground

  published July 31, 2003

  It's a great pleasure to behold a chunk of art that's both dank and fresh at the same time, and this appraisal perfectly fits the superb... More >>

• He, Fellini

  published July 24, 2003

  Everyone in his right mind loves Donald Sutherland. The spry 67-year-old boasts one of the most respectable acting résumés this side... More >>

• Reduced-Salt Dogs

  published July 10, 2003

  To prepare for reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I did the obvious research: I watched... More >>

• I Am Siam

  published July 10, 2003

  If, in keeping with current fads, you seek movies featuring females kicking a bunch of ass, your appetite will be tended (and cultivated) at the... More >>

• Sidestep of the Machines

  published July 3, 2003

  Much like "hilarious Islamic comedy" or "sublime Affleck picture," the term "terrific second sequel" isn't bandied about too much. Name one. Took... More >>

• The Young Girl and the Sea

  published July 3, 2003

  Once in a while a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault... More >>

• The Young Girl and the Sea

  published June 26, 2003

  Once in a while a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault... More >>

• The Pain in Spain

  published May 22, 2003

  French putz Xavier (Romain Duris) is depressed. The poor guy lives in Paris, has Amélie's Audrey Tautou as a girlfriend, eats... More >>

• Violent Femmes

  published May 1, 2003

  At some fast-approaching point in pop-culture evolution, we're due to hit Total Outsider Saturation, wherein everybody is an outsider and... More >>

• Mighty Mediocre

  published April 17, 2003

  Just to admit this up front, my ideal concept of musical comedy involves Bryan Adams and Dave Matthews garroting each other onstage with their own... More >>