9 days ago | Outside
There are a few things that terrify me. Cockroaches are up there. It’s the way they can disappear into anything, like, say, light switches or clown’s mouths. When I was a kid, I imagined Michael Myers following me with a sharp, glinting axe. Now, ...
9 days ago | Burgers
I would like to address the Hamburglar. Hamburglar: It has come to my attention that you’re back, for some reason, and I wanted to check in with you. There are only a few times a year I’m at McDonald’s. Most often, I order it at the airport. Someh...
16 days ago | Burgers
There's something terrifying about food hybrids. For example: When Pizza Hut human-centipeded a hot dog into a pizza crust, the entire planet cringed. When food scientist Guy Fieri announces new creations, like tater tot ravioli and hot donkey nac...
30 days ago | Burgers
The first rule of Ten Bells Tavern is: You should actually really talk about Ten Bells Tavern. There's the smoky, saucy wings studded with blue cheese, the woodsy patio (complete with roving, fuzzy cats), the focused beer menu, and the new-Star Wa...
1 month ago | Breakfast
Zero Hour was for typing. It was middle school in the '90s, and a couple of days a week I was in "zero hour" class, which meant it was before-the-sun early, and involved typing meaningless phrases to bolster my words-per-minute score. A sheet of p...
3 months ago | Burgers
One of the most challenging things you can do, as a person with free will and time to roam the Earth and eat things, is to sit and enjoy the taste of a veggie burger. Questions break the mind-dam and flood in: Why shape vegetables to look like a b...