Email Author Patrick Williams

2006 Stories by Patrick Williams

• A River Runs Through It

  published August 3, 2006

  It's amazing what the muddy, turtle- and tire-filled Trinity River can inspire. While some see a polluted ditch, others see a reason to spend... More >>

• Sharp-Dressed Man

  published July 27, 2006

  The Creative Arts Theatre & School is warming up a chestnut with The Emperor's Invisible Clothes, a lighthearted take on the Hans... More >>

• Death and guesses

  published July 20, 2006

  No one has ever accused us of having good taste. Literally. No one. Not ever. Still, even we know some things don't mix. Tan shoes and navy blue... More >>

• Gut feelings

  published July 6, 2006

  Gut feelings: Why would two Plano women decide to spend July Fourth fasting? The likely answers seem obvious enough: swimsuit season, too... More >>

• No, trust this

  published June 29, 2006

  No, trust this: Buzz has a deal for you, Dallas voter. For free, we will come by your house and do an inventory of things... More >>

• Ink erasure

  published June 22, 2006

  Ink erasure: Too many tattoo parlors in Deep Ellum? Is that possible? Apparently, yes. The city council last week approved an... More >>

• Idol Watch

  published June 22, 2006

  Thirty kajillion people can't be wrong, so there must be something good about American Idol. Looks like a saccharine, overlong version of... More >>

• Leading man

  published June 8, 2006

  Leading man: How many times does a rumor have to be repeated before a responsible journalist passes it on? Beats us. We're Buzz, not... More >>

• I'll Be Your Huckleberry

  published June 8, 2006

  Somewhere, the old boy must be chuckling sardonically under his big, bushy mustache. First, Mark Twain wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,... More >>

• Light the Corners

  published June 1, 2006

  Light the corners: Remember the good ol' days at the Dallas Independent School District? Crooked Yvonne Gonzalez riding a big... More >>

• Communicating Nonsense

  published June 1, 2006

  A time-traveling dominatrix is pursued through three time periods by a homicidal maniac as she hustles to save the lives of two of his victims,... More >>

• Tick-tock

  published May 25, 2006

  Tick-tock: It's coming up on a year since the news broke of the FBI's corruption investigation into City Hall's dealings with...huh?... More >>

• True-Crime Tour

  published May 25, 2006

  What would John N. Bucher think about our endless fascination with Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker? Never heard of him? That's probably because the... More >>

• Science!

  published May 25, 2006

  Brownian motion? Pshaw, that's easy. Massive bodies warp space? Tell us something we don't know, pal. The passage of time is relative to speed?... More >>

• Blathersphere

  published May 18, 2006

  Blathersphere: Grab that stickin' fork, cue the fat lady: The Dallas Morning News' Metro columnists are now bloggers.... More >>

• Taking Up Collection

  published May 18, 2006

  Do the following words mean anything to you? The Arbiter, Master Chief, Cortana, Elites, Brutes and Spartans (not the naked Greek kind). No? Then... More >>

• Line in the sand

  published May 11, 2006

  Line in the sand: Thousands dead on September 11 weren't enough to move Congress to secure the nation's borders. A dangerous trek across... More >>

• Mother's Grub

  published May 11, 2006

  At my house, Mother's Day lunch means one of two things: Cracker Barrel if we're "lucky"; Luby's (shudder) if we're not. The mom-in-law is getting... More >>

• Barbecued Tuna

  published May 11, 2006

  You've done this: You've started telling a hilarious anecdote, only to see your listener stare blankly, unsmiling. "I guess you had to be there,"... More >>

• Blonde Jokes

  published May 11, 2006

  Reason No. 913 on our list of reasons to never have children: We will never have to attend anything that "promises lots of fun and laughter for... More >>

• Aim right

  published May 4, 2006

  Aim right: It wasn't much of a demonstration--those five Baylor University students holding signs on a rainy Friday outside the Abbott... More >>

• Three Times the Pain

  published May 4, 2006

  Chances are, if you're the sort of person who enjoys enduring pain, fatigue and shin splints to the point of vomiting—that is, you're a... More >>

• ...We Salute You

  published May 4, 2006

  These kids today. Back in the day, when a child wanted to learn about sex, there was the street corner, maybe a copy of Dad's Penthouse.... More >>

• Scarlet letter

  published April 27, 2006

  Scarlet letter: Whom do you trust to counsel you for personal problems, a minister or a licensed counselor? How about a pastor who is also... More >>

• Oh, Baby, Baby

  published April 27, 2006

  Let me tell you what a tasteless place the Dallas Observer is. See, some of the staff was talking about the American Baby Faire... More >>