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2007 Stories by Patrick Williams

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  • Avi Adelman Makes Crime Pay

    published December 27, 2007

    Making crime pay: Because nothing says "Happy Holidays" like raging paranoia that faceless criminals are coming for you, we'd... More >>

  • Aw, Shit

    published December 20, 2007

    Aw, shit: If, like Buzz, you grow weary of all the canned holiday sentimentality—in other words, you're a misanthropic SOB who... More >>

  • Picture This

    published December 13, 2007

    Picture this: Should we feel violated or famous? Out there on the Internet, for the entire world to see, is a fuzzy photo of a man... More >>

  • Help Wanted

    published December 6, 2007

    Help wanted: Here's a little inside Dallas Observer baseball stuff for you: Our editor, Julie Lyons, is departing in... More >>

  • Letter to UT Southwestern Medical Center's V.I.P. Members

    published November 22, 2007

    Dear Very Important Person: On behalf of UT Southwestern Medical Center's staff, I wish to offer our sincere apologies... More >>

  • Tryptophan Salvation

    published November 22, 2007

    Here's a note to a very special set of regular Dallas Observer readers: The Salvation Army will offer traditional Thanksgiving... More >>

  • Capitalistmas

    published November 22, 2007

    Maybe Christmas doesn't come in a box. Maybe it doesn't come from a store. Perhaps Christmas means a little bit more. Hah. Yeah, right. It's all... More >>

  • Trinity Still Divides Council

    published November 15, 2007

    Divided we stand: Short of reading that the United States has invaded Iran (God forbid) or that Tony Romo broke a leg (God, Allah,... More >>

  • Crock the Vote

    published November 8, 2007

    Crock the vote: By the time you read this, the votes in an election called "the most critical in city history" will be counted, and... More >>

  • Backing Rebecca Aguilar

    published October 25, 2007

    Inquiring minds: Buzz keeps watching the video of reporter Rebecca Aguilar's interview with James Walton, the West Dallas... More >>

  • Meet Judge Jim Foster

    published October 18, 2007

    Holy crap: Man oh man oh man. Just met Dallas County Judge Jim Foster for the first time. Wow. In more than a decade of writing... More >>

  • Ol' Man River

    published October 11, 2007

    Ol' man river: In our effort to decide how to vote on the Trinity toll road initiative, Buzz spent a fun day last week looking... More >>

  • The Layered Look

    published October 11, 2007

    One thing for sure, artist Sarah Maxwell English's grandmother had way cooler taste than my grandma. For a joint exhibit with fellow Dallas artist... More >>

  • Country Equals Dallas

    published October 11, 2007

    So, if you want to score big with the women in Dallas these days, what's the secret? Easy, you pretend to be impotent. Sounds a little... More >>

  • Home to Roost

    published October 4, 2007

    Home to roost: First off, Buzz apologizes to U.S. Attorney Richard Roper and his cohorts for ever hinting in this space that the... More >>

  • Baby-Makin' Jams

    published October 4, 2007

    Remember when your favorite black recording artists had huge 'fros, wore funky hats and tuxes with velvet lapels? When groups consisted of three... More >>

  • Leppert vs. Hunt Predictions

    published September 27, 2007

    We see all: By the time you read this, the Great Trinity Toll Road Debate of 2007, Leppert vs. Hunt in a tag-team smack-down cage... More >>

  • Dream a Little Dream

    published September 20, 2007

    Dream a little dream: Buzz just needs to stay away from some people. Grown-ups, mostly—guys like Michael Faenza, president... More >>

  • Sigh...

    published September 13, 2007

    Sigh...: Man, Buzz is so gonna regret saying this, but here goes: If you believe that the attacks on the Pentagon and World Trade Center... More >>

  • An Exercise in Pride

    published September 13, 2007

    Ahem. A few weeks ago, an item appeared in this section concerning a screening of the 2005 film version of Pride & Prejudice, in... More >>

  • Slappy Happy

    published September 13, 2007

    Huh, how about that? Slappy's Puppet Playhouse is not another name for the confessional booth during youth services at your local Catholic church,... More >>

  • Play It Again, Sam

    published September 6, 2007

    So imagine that Casablanca was not made in 1942, but today. Drunken dinner party conversation topics: In 2007, would Ilsa get on the... More >>

  • The Puppet Master

    published September 6, 2007

    We're not sure why audiences roar when a jalapeño puppet says, in a thick, ersatz Mexican accent that his name is... More >>

  • Excelsior!

    published August 30, 2007

    Excelsior!: Sometimes news comes that puts a spark of optimism even in the cold, bitter lump that is Buzz's heart, reminding us that... More >>

  • The Candyman Can

    published August 30, 2007

    Forget the Johnny Depp vs. Gene Wilder question about who makes the better Willy Wonka. Call it a toss-up. Lets focus for now on the original... More >>

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