Email Author Patrick Williams

2007 Stories by Patrick Williams

• King of the Chill

  published June 7, 2007

  "What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas." I suppose if you're an aficionado of Serious Cinema,... More >>

• Membership Has Privileges

  published May 31, 2007

  Membership has privileges: Lucky you. Once again you get to bask in the gloriousness that is Buzz. Please, don't bother to... More >>

• Fair Lilith

  published May 31, 2007

  Ah, the Ice Queen with the hidden, passionate, horny heart of fire; the bookish woman who whips off her glasses, shakes the bun out of her hair... More >>

• Phone Tag

  published May 24, 2007

  Dallas Observer reporter Matt Pulle has asked his editors to give you the following information: He has no opinion about the size of former... More >>

• More Than Dusty Sail

  published May 24, 2007

  Coolness. Kansas is coming to McKinney's Myers Park and Event Center—at last, a band from my high school years in the '70s. I remember... More >>

• Massacred

  published May 17, 2007

  Massacred: So, what lessons can we learn from the 3-to-1 stomping of the ballot-box effort to halt Farmers Branch's anti-illegal... More >>

• Rollin' in Grapevine

  published May 17, 2007

  Here's an odd little fact: The Bay City Rollers have a best-of CD, released in 1995. And, get this, it has 21 tracks, only one of which is titled... More >>

• Democracy in Action

  published May 10, 2007

  Democracy in action: Former Dallas City Council candidate P.D. Sterling, with help from political blogger Sharon Boyd, is... More >>

• Undercover Brothers

  published May 10, 2007

  David Talbot, founder and former editor-in-chief of the Web magazine Salon, comes to the Borders bookstore at the Preston Royal Shopping... More >>

• Artless

  published May 3, 2007

  Artless: Stereotypes are bad. Got that. It's wrong to say anything is "typical Dallas." We know. This is a big, cosmopolitan (snort)... More >>

• Take the Cheese

  published April 26, 2007

  Take the cheese: Hey, Max Wells, where are the flowers, the candy or, at least, the little personal thank-you note for our fellow... More >>

• Cheesy

  published April 19, 2007

  Cheesy: Cheese is coming, and it's going to eat your children. Don't believe us? Then ask The Dallas Morning News, which this... More >>

• Here's the Pitch

  published April 19, 2007

  Those of you who still may be wondering why radio jock Don Imus' racist comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team caused such a... More >>

• Wheels Turning

  published April 12, 2007

  Wheels turning: Buzz has never really grasped the story of Job, the pious man ineffably effed by God on a dare from Satan.... More >>

• Ding! Baby's Ready!

  published April 12, 2007

  Why would anyone rub a baby with butter? So it would brown properly after you stuff it with an onion and bake it in a 350-degree oven for 20... More >>

• MYOB

  published April 5, 2007

  MYOB: It's good that the Dallas mayoral candidates have finally found something to disagree about. It was getting hard to tell some... More >>

• Ride, Sally, Ride

  published April 5, 2007

  Sure, I suppose if you're going to have a group bike ride called Tour Dallas, you'll need to include some downtown streets. I... More >>

• Calling Terpsichore

  published March 29, 2007

  It must be a brain-wiring thing, or maybe it's my complete lack of rhythm combined with the personal grace of a blind, drunk duck, but dance is an... More >>

• What First Amendment?

  published March 22, 2007

  What First Amendment?: Here it is the third week in March, and so far this month we haven't written about anyone suing the Dallas County... More >>

• Nonissue

  published March 15, 2007

  Nonissue: Buzz is not a big believer in conspiracy theories. Oswald? He did it. Elvis? Dead. So nearly two years ago... More >>

• Zoom, Zoom

  published March 15, 2007

  Some people go to the Dallas Auto Show to see the bright and shiny new cars, but not me. I go for an emotional roller coaster that's better... More >>

• Kudos

  published March 8, 2007

  Kudos: We don't usually envy daily newspaper folk. Dailies are too bureaucratic, too lacking in the smart-alecky-ness that we love. Here in... More >>

• Into the Breach

  published February 22, 2007

  Into the breach: Once again, the Texas Legislature will consider baby steps that would make it somewhat easier for sick people to... More >>

• Black Thumb

  published February 22, 2007

  Every year, I threaten to attend the All Texas All Garden Show with Neil Sperry to learn once and for all if it is really possible to grow... More >>

• Snakes on the Brain

  published February 15, 2007

  More than 10,000 cold-blooded creatures are heading to North Texas this weekend, which is surprising. I didn't know the GOP National Convention... More >>