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2008 Stories by Patrick Williams

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  • HIV Numbers Cloud Condom Sense

    published December 25, 2008

    Condom sense: Ignore the two charts that appeared this week on the Metro page of The Dallas Morning News—one showing a... More >>

  • The Secret Society of Happy People Spills the Coffee Beans

    published December 18, 2008

    Cheers: Ten years have passed since we last spoke with Pamela Gail Johnson of Lewisville, founder of the Secret Society of Happy People.... More >>

  • Fairy Princess

    published December 11, 2008

    No offense, IwannaBeFamous2007, but we kinda doubt that you were what Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II had in mind when they wrote their... More >>

  • Laying Down the Unwelcome Mat for Bush

    published December 11, 2008

    Howdy, neighbor: Well, it looks like Buzz is going to have to find a new place to bike ride. The Bushes, W. and Laura, are moving into... More >>

  • Happiness Is a Warm Gun

    published December 4, 2008

    Draw, pardner: How many times has this happened to you? You're out doing the grocery shopping, picking up the dry cleaning, etc. You get... More >>

  • Shocked—Shocked—To Find Discrimination in Flower Mound

    published November 27, 2008

    There goes the neighborhood: When Inclusive Communities Project Inc.'s lawsuit against the town of Flower Mound crossed Buzz's desk last... More >>

  • Mom Likes Them Best

    published November 20, 2008

    Sometimes you're too old to get it...the joke, that is. Sometimes you're too young. In the case of The Smothers Brothers, I'm both. I'm... More >>

  • DISD Just Can't Get Numbers Right

    published November 13, 2008

    Numbers game: Ooo, looky here. In Buzz's hands we have a copy of an investigation report from Dallas Independent School District's... More >>

  • Before the Election, Feeling a Little Hanxious

    published November 6, 2008

    Hanxious: A couple of weeks ago, Buzz traveled with family to Reno, Nevada, for a vacation that involved lots and lots of drinking. It... More >>

  • Sentimental Journey

    published October 16, 2008

    Sentimental journey: So it's damn the petitions, full speed ahead with City Hall's plan to spend a half-billion dollars to build a... More >>

  • Steve Says

    published October 16, 2008

    Election? What election? Oh, that presidential thingy. Is that still going on? We hadn't noticed, 'cause we've been in a freakin' coma for the... More >>

  • Crises Management

    published October 9, 2008

    Crises management: The news breaks suddenly, spreading anger, fear and distrust. Massive miscalculations and shaky financial structures... More >>

  • Never, Ever Volunteer

    published October 2, 2008

    Never, ever volunteer: If there's a lawyer or, say, a member of the U.S. House of Representatives out there reading this, could you lend... More >>

  • Irrational Discourse

    published September 25, 2008

    Irrational discourse: In 2004, when Iraqi terrorists beheaded American Nick Berg and posted a horrific video of the murder online, we... More >>

  • Falling on a Sword

    published September 18, 2008

    Falling on a sword: So, Dallas Independent School District announces last week that—whoopsie daisy—it inadvertently blew its... More >>

  • Jack-Elitists

    published September 18, 2008

    Pity poor zucchini. Like its squash cousin, the pumpkin, it's a fairly useless fruit that grows large and abundantly. They're watery and bland,... More >>

  • Goin' to the Chapel

    published September 11, 2008

    Goin' to the chapel: If Buzz were introspective, we would pause and contemplate the creeping conservatism that has overtaken us in... More >>

  • Scary Stories

    published September 11, 2008

    Have you ever read any of the original German, pre-Disney-fied versions of classic Brothers Grimm fairy tales? The story of Cinderella, for... More >>

  • In the Cards

    published September 4, 2008

    In the cards: Only a fool would predict the outcome of a hotly contested election more than two months out. So, all righty then, here... More >>

  • Iron Eagles

    published September 4, 2008

    How to tell if you're a dude (in case there's any doubt): You consider bacon appropriate as an appetizer, entree and dessert dish; you bought a... More >>

  • Facts Are Slippery

    published August 28, 2008

    Facts are slippery: Do we really know enough about John McCain to elect him president? For instance, have you heard that the man spent... More >>

  • Scores Of 'Saurs

    published August 28, 2008

    We don't really want to see a dinosaur eat a child. That would be wrong. Entertaining? Perhaps. Be that as it may, if the Heard Natural Science... More >>

  • 'Homa Sweet 'Homa

    published August 28, 2008

    OK, everybody, let's sing! "Oklahoma, where the storms come roarin' down the plains/And the trailer parks fly just like larks/And we pee our pants... More >>

  • Grapes of Wrath

    published August 21, 2008

    Grapes of Wrath: So now City Plan Commissioner Neil Emmons wants to rename the Dallas North Tollway after César Chávez.... More >>

  • Is It Over Yet?

    published August 14, 2008

    Is it over yet? Because any election in which Paris Hilton becomes an issue—and offers a better energy plan than the two... More >>

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