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2008 Stories by Patrick Williams

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  • Selling Shakespeare

    published August 14, 2008

    The Merchant of Venice is a comedy? Oh, sure, that's easy for you to say, white bread. If you're Jewish or black--ol' Willie... More >>

  • Cute As A Bunny

    published August 7, 2008

    Slow and steady wins the race? Ha. Don't believe it, kid. Let us tell you how The Tortoise and the Hare really went down: The hare,... More >>

  • Shocking

    published August 7, 2008

    Shocking: Like many of you, Buzz recently received our electricity bill for July. Don't ask us how much it was; just picture a... More >>

  • Ethics 101

    published July 31, 2008

    Dear Dallas Independent School District trustees, Thank you for taking the time to solicit our opinion on whether your organization... More >>

  • Get Tintype-Cast

    published July 31, 2008

    According to the December 2007 article that first accompanied photographer Robb Kendrick's tintypes of modern cowboys, a typical... More >>

  • Trash Ain't Nothin' but Cash

    published July 24, 2008

    Trash ain't nothin' but cash: Virtue, they say, is its own reward. That fact probably helps explain why Buzz isn't on anyone's short... More >>

  • Organic Brick

    published July 3, 2008

    Organic brick: The cry went up almost immediately after the story broke in The Dallas Morning News last week that investment firm... More >>

  • Boom-Boom

    published July 3, 2008

    Which is better: sex or fireworks? Seems like the two could share a lot of the same terminology -- a Roman candle, a bottle rocket or a screamer... More >>

  • Wrinkled Old Lizard

    published June 26, 2008

    Here's a li'l factoid for all you former Rimbaud-reading, snake-skin-boot-wearing, mushroom-munching boomer kids: Jim Morrison would have turned... More >>

  • Time Warped

    published June 19, 2008

    Time warped: Man, Buzz really must stop washing down the Ambien with a bottle of cough syrup at night. It's giving us the weirdest... More >>

  • Rethinking Pink

    published June 12, 2008

    Rethinking pink: Time again for a Buzz pop quiz. What's the precise, quantitative difference between a liberal—or progressive, as... More >>

  • Words of Wiz-dumb

    published June 5, 2008

    Words of wiz-dumb: Here's an interesting bit of polling news reported by political Web site Daily Kos: Democrat Rick Noriega has pulled... More >>

  • Pix of a Polygamist Smooch Is Worth a Thousand Icks

    published May 29, 2008

    The ick factor: Here Buzz was, ready to congratulate the 3rd Court of Appeals on its courage and commitment to the rule of law for... More >>

  • Want to save an old hotel? Be our guest.

    published May 22, 2008

    Oh, all right already: Its outside smells like street-person pee. Its inside, when Buzz was in the bar years ago, looks like your... More >>

  • Getting Very Sleepy

    published May 22, 2008

    For many, an evening watching actors in period costumes hoof it and sing bouncy tunes is heavenly. For others, it sounds like the ninth circle of... More >>

  • D Magazine, Dallas Morning News Squabble Comes Down to Lazy Reporting at DMN

    published May 15, 2008

    Fairly mediocre: So last week, D magazine executive editor Tim Rogers and The Dallas Morning News columnist Steve... More >>

  • High noon at Seven

    published May 15, 2008

    You hate the robber who mugged you last week, but we celebrate outlaws who made Texas their playground in the 1800s. Why? Blame the hats.... More >>

  • Kids Rule

    published May 8, 2008

    Kids rule: Buzz was wondering when the Liberty Legal Institute, that Dallas-based network of lawyers who labor on behalf of religious... More >>

  • Chocoholic

    published May 1, 2008

    Thanks a bunch, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. You've taken a perfectly good childhood memory—Gene Wilder sing "Pure Imagination"... More >>

  • Logo Jam

    published April 24, 2008

    Logo jam: At last...at last we can see some real progress in the Trinity River Project, that ambitious $800 kabillion—give... More >>

  • Shoe Doesn't Fit

    published April 17, 2008

    Shoe doesn't fit: More than a decade has passed since Buzz visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., so we remember little about... More >>

  • Don't Be a Spare

    published April 17, 2008

    Simulated bowling on a videogame console strikes us as something similar to drinking non-alcoholic beer. What's the point? You're still bowling,... More >>

  • Hear Ye

    published April 17, 2008

    You say you want to experience the Renaissance? Fine, try this: Stop bathing for a few months, get yourself some body lice, cut off your nose to... More >>

  • Never Have Kids

    published April 10, 2008

    Never have kids: It should probably be a warning for anyone wanting to enter the field of family and divorce law that the story told to... More >>

  • Albatross Necklace

    published March 20, 2008

    Albatross necklace: So what was the late political commentator Rufus Shaw talking about when, in the weeks before his suicide, he wrote... More >>

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