Email Author Richie Whitt

Awards

• 2010 - Lone Star Awards, published August 20, 2009

  "Josh vs. Josh"

• 2010 - Lone Star Awards, published September 10, 2009

  "Jumbo Jerry"

• 2009 - Lone Star Awards, published July 3, 2008

  "The Hard Lie"

• 2009 - Lone Star Awards, published March 13, 2008

  "The Pitch Man Cometh"

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2006 Stories by Richie Whitt

• Terrible Owens

  published December 28, 2006

  T.O. must go. Because the only justification for stomaching Terrell Owens is a championship. And, after another egregious home loss in which... More >>

• Dodgeball

  published December 21, 2006

  Suhhhhhnnnaaaap! With a bold, brilliant pop of its fingers, the University of North Texas placed its football program in good hands.... More >>

• Rock 'n' Role

  published December 14, 2006

  All he wants for Christmas is his two front feet. You'd wish for that too if, like 2-year-old Micah Diffee, you were born with disfigured legs... More >>

• Kicking and Screaming

  published December 7, 2006

  Martin Dramatica's Miracle in The Meadowlands notwithstanding, there lives a man capable of instantly and permanently solving the Dallas... More >>

• Anna Nirvana

  published November 30, 2006

  Anna Kournikova grabbed my balls. Relax. It was for charity. Some aspire to climb Mount Everest, facilitate world peace or concoct a... More >>

• I Smell a McRat

  published November 23, 2006

  First, a rat. Next, a load of bullshit. Can't wait to see what McDonald's serves up for Thanksgiving. See, Chrissy Haley isn't suing the... More >>

• America's Extreme

  published November 23, 2006

  Before the game we get Kelly Clarkson. At halftime it's Carrie Underwood. And if the Dallas Cowboys are interested in a female mascot for... More >>

• Premature Evacuation

  published November 16, 2006

  Late Sunday night in Portland, Jarrett Jack dribbled up the floor against your Dallas Mavericks. The second-year guard barked out a play for the... More >>

• Romo-phobia

  published November 9, 2006

  Brace yourself, Tony Romo also has a publicist. But unlike Li'l Kim Etheredge, Terrell Owens' monstrosity of a mouthpiece, Vivian Fullerlove... More >>

• Puck You

  published November 2, 2006

  So, you wanna piece of Marty Turco? Have a seat. Down the hall, hang a left into the Dallas Stars players' lounge. Back there, past the P.F.... More >>

• Tony Oh-No

  published October 26, 2006

  Like two shits passing in the night, Dallas Cowboys quarterbacks of sudden past and temporary present take turns getting humiliated. If nothing... More >>

• The Endurance Evangelist

  published October 19, 2006

  Didn't even know Dean Karnazes was in town did you, fat ass? I'm talking to you, Mrs.... More >>

• On the Rebound

  published October 12, 2006

  Avery Johnson went to Africa. Jason Terry to the Bahamas. Mark Cuban went into hiding. And, in the agonizing aftermath of the Dallas... More >>

• Sympathy for the Devil

  published October 5, 2006

  Not that we need much help, but Terrell Owens brings out the worst in all of us. T.O. turns us into baffled skeptics grasping at guesses.... More >>

• Boshketball

  published September 28, 2006

  Chris Bosh would never say it himself, so let us scream it for him: Yo, bitches, how you like me now?! Like they did most summer... More >>

• Déjà Boo

  published September 28, 2006

  This much we know after yet another disappointing baseball season: Saturday Night Live reruns are way funnier than Texas Rangers reruns.... More >>

• Chief Sitting Bull

  published September 21, 2006

  Each weekend night the Mesquite Championship Rodeo is interrupted by a short drama, the script of which reads something like this: Act I:... More >>

• Duane's Debacle

  published September 14, 2006

  Since Bill Parcells won't, let me be perfectly clear: Drew Bledsoe's three-interception pratfall in Jacksonville last Sunday did not create or... More >>

• Our Idiot Kicker

  published September 7, 2006

  Sure enough, he's a problem. The Dallas Cowboys awarded him that monstrous contract in the off-season for this? A mysterious injury that... More >>

• Heavy Medal

  published August 31, 2006

  LOST: America's Sweetheart. 16 years old. A bubbly, tumbling pixie. Last seen in Athens, Greece, wearing a captivating smile and three Olympic... More >>

• Fight Club

  published August 24, 2006

  They kicked his ass out of New York, muttering about "deteriorated skills." So we red-carpeted his assets to Dallas, longing for a good fight.... More >>

• Canton Cowboy

  published August 17, 2006

  Let the quarterback controversy begin. No, not that one. Sure, Dallas Cowboys backup Tony Romo looked decent in last Saturday's preseason... More >>

• Parcells on T.O.: Huh?

  published August 10, 2006

  OXNARD, California--He's obstinate, irrational, contentious, egomaniacal and, sometimes above all else, brilliant. To borrow the personality... More >>

• Ready to Blow

  published August 10, 2006

  OXNARD, California--Tick...tick...tick... This is how carefully, how meticulously, how extraordinarily attentively the Dallas Cowboys are... More >>

• Body Shots

  published August 3, 2006

  Signs that your life may be wobbling off its axis: You've been shot more times than Fitty Cent. You lied to police, prompting your boss... More >>