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2005 Stories by Robert Wilonsky

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  • John Freeman and the Dutch Treats

    published December 29, 2005

    You, in the back--yeah, you, with the Xbox controller in one hand and Billy Bong Thornton in the other. Talkin' to you, so pipe the fuck down.... More >>

  • Adios to the Arbor

    published December 29, 2005

    I haven't stepped foot in Trees in several years--last time, I suspect, was when X's original line-up tore up the place, reducing it to... More >>

  • Cult Hit for Nobody

    published December 29, 2005

    Nowhere Man (Image Entertainment) There's good reason why you've never heard of this UPN show from the mid-'90s, which... More >>

  • Tragedy Re-Revisited

    published December 22, 2005

    Those who will sit around wondering whether Munich is the work of an anti-Israeli or just a self-hating Jew--which is to say, Steven... More >>

  • Art Imitates Strife

    published December 22, 2005

    What a difference a year makes. In 2004, Michael Moore's Bush-bashing Fahrenheit 9/11 was not only the most-watched and most-debated doc in... More >>

  • Swearing In

    published December 22, 2005

    It's an unavoidable trend--if two movies make a trend, that is--so much so that if you Google the phrase "return of the R-rated movie," the first... More >>

  • The Impossible Bomb

    published December 22, 2005

    Serenity (Universal) Joss Whedon's film version of his TV series Firefly came and went like a lightning bug in October; the... More >>

  • Oh, Joy

    published December 15, 2005

    One cannot, in good conscience, describe the countless strands of plot and strains of characters skittering through The Family Stone... More >>

  • Monkey Business

    published December 15, 2005

    For whatever reason, the modernized, comic redo of King Kong released exactly 29 years ago has become less the "pop classic" that... More >>

  • Love the Sin

    published December 15, 2005

    Sin City: Recut, Extended, Unrated (Buena Vista) Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller's near frame-for-frame adaptation of Miller's... More >>

  • Blood for Oil

    published December 8, 2005

    Warner Bros. put $50 million into Syriana and allowed writer-director Stephen Gaghan as much time and travel as necessary to... More >>

  • Sweat Along with Russell

    published December 8, 2005

    Cinderella Man (Universal) Back in the Great Depression, boxing matches only cost a nickel and the ring was uphill both ways.... More >>

  • Jesus Saves

    published December 1, 2005

    Hands down (and hands down her pants, from the sound of it), the funniest bit from the summer's raunch smorgasbord The Aristocrats was... More >>

  • Homewreckers on DVD

    published December 1, 2005

    Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Fox) The pairing of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, both in real life and on celluloid, is so obvious as to be... More >>

  • Ragged Doll

    published November 24, 2005

    There are two audiences for the movie New York Doll: those who know the lyrics to such songs as "Vietnamese Baby" and "Pills" (and... More >>

  • Your Government at Work

    published November 24, 2005

    Punishment Park (New Yorker Video) This 1971 movie from director Peter Watkins could have been made yesterday, which is... More >>

  • Reel Killer

    published November 17, 2005

    The 7th Annual Deep Ellum Film Festival, which no longer happens anywhere near Deep Ellum, officially got under way on Sunday, when Brad Bird flew... More >>

  • Hello, He's Not Johnny Cash

    published November 17, 2005

    It seems like so much nitpicking, but why is the Johnny Cash biopic called Walk the Line when a far better name would have been... More >>

  • Paul McCartney and Freelance Hellraiser

    published November 17, 2005

    The unforgiving and unsentimental damn him as the Dim Beatle, the Dull Beatle, the Dung Beatle; he's no John or George, after all, magical,... More >>

  • Money for Nothing

    published November 17, 2005

    Two years ago, Ronnie Crayton believed his restaurant, located just across the street from Fair Park, would succeed for myriad reasons--chief... More >>

  • A Very Long Run

    published November 17, 2005

    Born to Run: 30th Anniversary Edition (Columbia Home Video) The centerpiece of this three-disc boxed set isn't the classic... More >>

  • Love at First Fight

    published November 10, 2005

    Keira Knightley, who is all of 20 but has the grace and gravitas of someone a good decade older, probably considers herself the luckiest lass in... More >>

  • Neil Diamond

    published November 10, 2005

    Of course, itís the producer who gets the performer into these pages; this look like People magazine to you, hunh? Fact is, anybody othe... More >>

  • Kinky love

    published November 10, 2005

    Kinky love: He ain't governor--yet--but that doesn't stop a certain Texas Jewboy from leaving voice mail messages in which he... More >>

  • Blessed Are the Buttmunches

    published November 10, 2005

    Beavis and Butt-head: The Mike Judge Collection, Volume One (Paramount) This three-disc, 40-episode volume chronicling Beavis... More >>

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