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2005 Stories by Robert Wilonsky

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  • White Trash

    published August 4, 2005

    And so, once more, the googolplex emits the stink of the network rerun, this week offering yet another worthless big-screen take on small-screen... More >>

  • Trip to Bountiful

    published August 4, 2005

    There has always been much to love about the Dallas Video Festival: its eclectic scheduling of full-length features alongside experimental shorts... More >>

  • Bad News

    published July 21, 2005

    Going to the theater this summer has been like stepping into a time machine where your fondest childhood memories are retooled by cynics and... More >>

  • Always a Bridesmaid

    published July 14, 2005

    If Vince Vaughn puts any effort into what he's doing, it doesn't show, which is perhaps one of the benefits of always appearing to be hungover.... More >>

  • Chin Up

    published July 7, 2005

    In his new book Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, his sequel to If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor, Bruce... More >>

  • Comic Relief

    published July 7, 2005

    Movies based on comic books have become dime-a-dozen events--appropriate given the cover price of these titles was 10 cents when they debuted... More >>

  • Gross Encounters

    published June 30, 2005

    Quite simply and quite literally, Steven Spielberg's adaptation of H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds is Close Encounters of the Third... More >>

  • Seriously Kinky

    published June 30, 2005

    Only when pushed, and then prodded and then finally pinned, will Richard Friedman explain why he's running as an independent candidate for Texas... More >>

  • Car Trouble

    published June 23, 2005

    Anyone who would insist that movie reviewing is not a real job ('sup, Mom) hasn't been forced to sit through screenings of Bewitched... More >>

  • Cursed

    published June 23, 2005

    Bewitched may go down as the first movie about a fictional failed actor that creates a real-life failed actor. This hackneyed,... More >>

  • The Wiz

    published June 16, 2005

    For all their exceptionality, there is also a numbing sameness to the movies of Hayao Miyazaki, the revered animator who has bewitched Japanese... More >>

  • Secret Machines

    published June 16, 2005

    With the Pink Zep comparisons a year behind them now, local ex-pats Secret Machines can get on with the business of revealing their true... More >>

  • This Teardown Town

    published June 9, 2005

    It is not often that Dwayne Jones just gets into his car to drive around the city and look at the buildings he has spent so much of his life... More >>

  • Broke, But Not Broken

    published June 2, 2005

    There was no reason to expect much from Cinderella Man, Ron Howard's biography of boxer James Braddock, who in the summer of 1935... More >>

  • Long Bomb

    published May 26, 2005

    Adam Sandler cast as a former pro quarterback--that laughable setup is about the only funny thing about this pointless, witless remake of... More >>

  • Animal Crackers

    published May 26, 2005

    It's fair to say that Madagascar, directed by one man who made Antz and another who used to work on Ren & Stimpy, is... More >>

  • Oasis

    published May 26, 2005

    Los Bros. Gallagher return after their Heathen Chemistry produced not a banging wallop but a fizzling so-what--the familiar story of two... More >>

  • On the Dark Side

    published May 19, 2005

    It's a question to which the response should be more than a shrug, but it's the only thing I can offer anyone who asks, "So, how was it?" The... More >>

  • Deaf, Not Dumb

    published May 12, 2005

    The mockumentary is a tricky thing and not to be attempted by amateurs, many of whom treat the form like a joke without need of a punch line; damn... More >>

  • We're No Angels

    published May 5, 2005

    Much of Crash, an L.A.-stories portmanteau about the suffocating embrace of racism, is hard to watch, harder still to listen to. Its... More >>

  • Jokes? What Jokes?

    published April 28, 2005

    Author Douglas Adams died at age 49 on May 11, 2001, of a heart attack suffered during a workout at a Santa Barbara, California, gym. His... More >>

  • Days of Thunder

    published April 21, 2005

    Of the 30 or so films playing the USA Film Festival, now celebrating its 35th anniversary, only one has never been shown to an audience before:... More >>

  • Lost in Translation

    published April 21, 2005

    Among the many mysteries surrounding The Interpreter is the one that finds Sydney Pollack heralded as a major American director, a... More >>

  • Eels

    published April 21, 2005

    Mark Everett's at it again, moaning-groaning (some would call it singing, but shouldn't) about how it feels so great to feel so fucking awful. "Do... More >>

  • Richard Thompson

    published April 14, 2005

    In lieu of new text, here instead is a compilation of things I've written about Richard Thompson over the past decade--something every rock... More >>

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