Email Author Sarah Johnson

2009 Stories by Sarah Johnson

• Murdering 2009

  published December 31, 2009

  We all have addictions, even if we aren't aware of it--don't worry, I'm not getting all Dr. Drew on you. Some are addicted to crack cocaine,... More >>

• Murdering 2009

  published December 31, 2009

  We all have addictions, even if we aren't aware of it--don't worry, I'm not getting all Dr. Drew on you. Some are addicted to crack cocaine,... More >>

• Let It Snow

  published December 24, 2009

  Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy and Artsy? Calm down, our beloved Dopey isn't being replaced by an artistic hipster who only drinks... More >>

• Drink Up, Pinky Out

  published December 17, 2009

  Every year I make a list of things I want to do, and every year drinking tea at the Dallas Arboretum never gets crossed off the list. Things are... More >>

• "Santa's Coming! I Know Him!"

  published December 17, 2009

  Top three Christmas movies of all time: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story and Elf. The first... More >>

• "No Shirt, No Shoes...No Dice!"

  published December 3, 2009

  Smoking weed and skipping school...ahh, high school. Pregnancy scares and getting caught in an awkward situation in the bathroom by your... More >>

• Champagne Wishes, Cupcake Dreams

  published December 3, 2009

  Times are rough, and every week seems to last a little longer than the one before. I've definitely got a case of the recession blues, but luckily... More >>

• Chelsea Hardly

  published November 26, 2009

  I do it. You do it. I bet even your grandma does it. No, not that! Geez. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about SSCS--secret shame... More >>

• Goonies Never Say Die!

  published November 19, 2009

  Move over Jack Sparrow and Captain Yellowbeard, another pirate has our heart--One-Eyed Willie. Please refrain from making the obvious sex joke... More >>

• Thrills And Chills

  published October 29, 2009

  Certain memories will stick with you forever. Like the time you tried to cheer up a weeping willow tree because you thought it was sad, or the... More >>

• Slithering Into Fair Park

  published October 29, 2009

  Family vacations are supposed to be fun and stress-free--especially if you are a 6-year old. After spending a lovely week in San Antonio with the... More >>

• Screamin' Halloweenies!

  published October 22, 2009

  Adults are sharpening their knives, kids are dragging their parents to Walmart to load up on candy and costumes, and the television seems to be... More >>

• Carving Out Fun

  published October 22, 2009

  Random Fact: I once carved a pumpkin to look like Tom Cruise's character in Top Gun. It didn't exactly turn out the way I would of hoped.... More >>

• Muppets on Acid

  published October 15, 2009

  The 1982 fantasy film The Dark Crystal will be making a return to the big screen this weekend, and I have a few reasons why you... More >>

• Munch at Madrid

  published October 1, 2009

  Who doesn't like the combination of rice, veggies, beans, various seasonings, meat or seafood cooked over an open wood fire? Or we could just call... More >>

• On The Cover...

  published October 1, 2009

  If you're a fan of the books The Sorcerer's Apprentice and Who's in Rabbit's House, then you'll probably enjoy the new exhibit at... More >>

• Boy Vs Wild

  published September 24, 2009

  Being a kid isn't as easy as it looks. Sure, they still get to wear onesies, play with high-tech toys on Christmas morning and have the luxury of... More >>

• The Old Man And The Sea

  published September 24, 2009

  All you ladies out there can keep your Edward Cullen obsession and King Leonidas fascination. I'd rather have a middle-aged, slightly overweight... More >>

• Grapevine Uncorked

  published September 17, 2009

  It's no secret: I like to drink boxed wine and maybe eat a small bag of Cheetos at night sometimes. It's my weird version of wine and cheese. I... More >>

• Slappy's Gets Stinky

  published September 17, 2009

  I think Slappy's Puppet Playhouse has been reading my mind lately. I always wondered how the fairy tale Cinderella would have turned out if her... More >>

• ...Polished

  published September 10, 2009

  There are certain things in life that you just aren’t supposed to do, like sell acid out of an ice cream truck, switch out... More >>

• Mirror, Mirror

  published September 3, 2009

  Poll question time! If you decided to have an alter ego, would it be an evil genius like Mr. Hyde or a save-the-day type like Superman? A new... More >>

• Hot Stage Flash

  published August 27, 2009

  Three inevitable things in life scare the bejeezus out of me, as a woman in her mid-twenties: crows feet, gravity taking over certain body parts... More >>

• Mama Said Knock You Out

  published August 20, 2009

  Do you want to combine your kickboxing class with your cooking one to save time and money? Well, keep looking, buddy, because the Knockout... More >>

• Library Loveline

  published August 20, 2009

  All my friends know by now that I'm not the one to come running to with relationship problems if they're seeking answers. My solution to those... More >>