Best Place to Give a Germophobe a Panic Attack (2003)

Emergency Room at Baylor University Medical Center

A trip to the emergency room is never fun. But for a germophobe, it's an utter nightmare. A cursory glance of the waiting area can evoke sweaty palms, heart palpitations and the unyielding urge to flee. But, unfortunately, sometimes you gotta do it; and if the need arises, Baylor's medical facility is as good a place as any. So whether you're the patient or merely the moral support, here are a few suggestions for the germ-fearing among us: 1) Though it will be tempting, DO NOT choose a seat near the exit door, because, you see, it's also within earshot of the patient interview area. And the first time you hear the phrase, "So, you have open sores..." don't be surprised if you feel your throat begin to close and your breathing become labored. 2) Don't even think about the Bath & Body Works anti-bacterial hand gel you have in your purse. It ain't gonna cut it. Just ease your mind by imagining the Silkwood-style shower you'll take when you get home. 3) Finally, and this may be the most important, DO NOT engage in conversation with any fellow waiting-roomer. You'll just have to trust us on this one.


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