BEST OF DALLAS® 2006
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
THE SUBJECT of today’s sermon is sin. No, wait! Don’t turn the page just yet. We’re talking about good sins, the kind of vices we like.
You say you didn’t know that vice can be a good thing? We didn’t either until we started planning this issue. Our advertising staff thought devoting this year’s Best of Dallas® to a theme of “Dallas vice” would be a fun idea. The editors, a literal bunch, thought that tying the word “best”to a term the dictionary defines as “moral depravity or corruption; wickedness” might be off- putting to the dozens of our more morally stalwart readers and advertisers.
So of course we said, “Yes, let’s have a vice theme.” This is the Dallas Observer, after all, and if our staff of reprobates led by a devoutly religious editor couldn’t find something nice to say about vice, no one could. We like a challenge. We love being contrary.
It wasn’t that hard. Think about it: Which part of your past puts a smile on your face as you daydream? Which gives you the better anecdote to tell your drinking buddies? Was it the Sunday morning you slipped an extra fiver in the collection plate, or the time you had one too many Saturday night and woke up trying to recall exactly what it is you can’t believe you did the night before? Would you really rather be responsible and save that money for a rainy day, or buy your 20th pair of bitchin’ shoes?
We have quite a few poker players in our office, and the morning after a game there’s more talk of the hands they didn’t bet but could have won than the pots they took home.
All this thinking about the wages of petty sin prompted us to come up with a game for y’all to try out as you visit any of the fine drinking establishments praised in this issue. Instead of playing “Who would you rather do?” (Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh, for instance) play this one: “Who could you have done but didn’t?” Make sure you start it well before last call, though. You’re going to want a few drinks.
Maybe we’re wrong, but we suspect that when the day comes that we lie in bed drawing our last breaths, regrets for the sins we didn’t commit will haunt us way more than those we did.
Like we said, we’re reprobates. But even ol’ Abe Lincoln, a paragon of virtue, understood what we’re talking about: “It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues,” he said.
We lifted that quote from the Web page of the Dallas-based Vice Fund, by the way. It’s a mutual fund that invests in tobacco, alcohol, gaming and defense industries. Its historic average annual return is right around 16 percent. How’s your 401(k) doing?
So sin a little, we say. You deserve it. Spend a little too much. Embarrass yourself. Put down the hymnal and dust off that old copy of Back in Black. And consider this Best of Dallas a guide to how people indulge their naughty natures responsibly—or sorta responsibly, anyhow.
Remember: Everything in moderation is wise, but abstemiousness is a pain in the butt. —Patrick Williams
Find more Best of Dallas® winners:
- CULTURE: Whore Wars
- Best Category We ForgotAnd our readers pick....
- Best City Council MemberMitchell Rasansky, District 13
- Best Use
of Taxpayer DollarsThe Calatrava Bridges
- Best Local Music WebsiteThe Fine Line
- Best Blog (That Isn't Named Unfair Park, Suckers)FrontBurner
- Best Christmas DecorationsBeverly Drive, Highland Park
- Best Rockin' Reality BabeZayra Alvarez
- Best CoffeehouseStandard & Pours Coffee
- Best JukeboxThe Lakewood Landing
- Best Gay BarSue Ellen's
- Best Bar FoodThe Old Monk
- Best History in the MakingZounds-Sounds Music Instruction
- Best View"Prayer Mountain" at Mountain Creek Community Church
- Best Tourist AttractionDallas World Aquarium
- Best Place in DallasTending, (Blue) by James Turrell in the Nasher Sculpture Center
- Best Booking
in a ShoeboxThe Cavern
- Best Alternative ClubR.L. Griffin's Blues Palace No. 2
- Best Blues ClubDeep Ellum Blues
- Best Jazz ClubBrooklyn
- Best Intimate EveningIntimate Evening Concert Series at Bend Studio
- Best Latin ClubEscapade 2009
- Best Place to Get Your Farm OnHeritage Farmstead Museum
- Best CampingCedar Hill State Park
- SPORTS: Norm Nose Sports
- Best Sports Sculpture"Golden Goal" and "Frisco Flyer" at Pizza Hut Park, Frisco
- Best CowboyTroy Aikman
- Best Sports Radio Talk ShowThe Hardline
- Best MaverickDirk Nowitzki
- Best Place
to Get MuddyL.B. Houston Park trail
- Best Indoor Rock ClimbingExposure
- Best HikeLake Ray Roberts State Park
- Seven Awesome Food Events in Dallas This Weekend, July 2-5
- Eight Awesome Food Events in Dallas This Weekend, June 25-28
- 8 Signs You're A Yuccie Living in Dallas
- 10 Dallas Comedians You Need to Know
- 13 Best Tattoo Shops in DFW, 2015 Edition
- The Customer Is Not Always Right. Here Are 10 Ways to Be a Better One.
- 7 Things to Do on Mother's Day for the Child-Free Woman
- Denton Is Obsessed with Sriracha
- Where to Pick up Your Next Date in Dallas
- 5 Kickass Dallas Women Who Could Totally Be President
- The Cheap Bastard's Guide to Great but Terrible Pre-Workout Meals in Dallas
- Best Places to See a Movie Outside This Spring
- A Field Guide to the Taquerias of I-35
- 10 Things We'd Like to See in Exposition Park, Before It Gets Yuppi-fied