BEST OF DALLAS® 2006
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
THE SUBJECT of today’s sermon is sin. No, wait! Don’t turn the page just yet. We’re talking about good sins, the kind of vices we like.
You say you didn’t know that vice can be a good thing? We didn’t either until we started planning this issue. Our advertising staff thought devoting this year’s Best of Dallas® to a theme of “Dallas vice” would be a fun idea. The editors, a literal bunch, thought that tying the word “best”to a term the dictionary defines as “moral depravity or corruption; wickedness” might be off- putting to the dozens of our more morally stalwart readers and advertisers.
So of course we said, “Yes, let’s have a vice theme.” This is the Dallas Observer, after all, and if our staff of reprobates led by a devoutly religious editor couldn’t find something nice to say about vice, no one could. We like a challenge. We love being contrary.
It wasn’t that hard. Think about it: Which part of your past puts a smile on your face as you daydream? Which gives you the better anecdote to tell your drinking buddies? Was it the Sunday morning you slipped an extra fiver in the collection plate, or the time you had one too many Saturday night and woke up trying to recall exactly what it is you can’t believe you did the night before? Would you really rather be responsible and save that money for a rainy day, or buy your 20th pair of bitchin’ shoes?
We have quite a few poker players in our office, and the morning after a game there’s more talk of the hands they didn’t bet but could have won than the pots they took home.
All this thinking about the wages of petty sin prompted us to come up with a game for y’all to try out as you visit any of the fine drinking establishments praised in this issue. Instead of playing “Who would you rather do?” (Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh, for instance) play this one: “Who could you have done but didn’t?” Make sure you start it well before last call, though. You’re going to want a few drinks.
Maybe we’re wrong, but we suspect that when the day comes that we lie in bed drawing our last breaths, regrets for the sins we didn’t commit will haunt us way more than those we did.
Like we said, we’re reprobates. But even ol’ Abe Lincoln, a paragon of virtue, understood what we’re talking about: “It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues,” he said.
We lifted that quote from the Web page of the Dallas-based Vice Fund, by the way. It’s a mutual fund that invests in tobacco, alcohol, gaming and defense industries. Its historic average annual return is right around 16 percent. How’s your 401(k) doing?
So sin a little, we say. You deserve it. Spend a little too much. Embarrass yourself. Put down the hymnal and dust off that old copy of Back in Black. And consider this Best of Dallas a guide to how people indulge their naughty natures responsibly—or sorta responsibly, anyhow.
Remember: Everything in moderation is wise, but abstemiousness is a pain in the butt. —Patrick Williams
Find more Best of Dallas® winners:
- Best NewscastsWFAA-Channel 8, 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.
- Best Acting SchoolKD Studio Actors Conservatory
- Best Hipster ArtArt Prostitute
- Best Place to Be Alone
in a CrowdState Fair of Texas
- Best TV News AnchorJohn McCaa, co-anchor, News 8
- Best Onscreen UnwindKewlbox.com by Blockdot
- Best Talent AgencyThe Horne Agency
- CULTURE: Whore Wars
- Best SodaJarritos
- Best Neighborhood RestaurantKitchen 1924
- Best Place to Have SoulVern's Place
- Best Place to Eat After Running/ Cycling White Rock LakeLegal Grounds
- Best Fast FoodBack Yard Burgers
- Best DumplingThai Dumpling at Bangkok Inn
- Best Excuse for Bad BreathGarlic Rolls at Marco Italian
- Best Dessert to Get Fat OnChocolate Cappuccino Pie, Scalini's
- Best Fast-Food ChickenMarco Pollo Rotisserie
- Best Margaritaville SubstituteWeekends Restaurant
- Best Chocolate ObsessionXocolatl
- Best ServiceCraft Dallas
- Best SteakPappas Bros. Steakhouse
- Best Senior DiningChubby's Family Restaurant
- Best Indian RestaurantIndia Palace Restaurant & Club
- Best Taxi ServiceTijuana Bar & Grill's Tijuana Taxi Express
- Best Way to Run a RailroadTrinity Railway Express
- Best Place to Get UnwiredCrystal Meth Anonymous
- Best Dog ParkBark Park Central
- Best Live Music Venue (Tie)Sons of Hermann Hall and Dan's Silverleaf
- Best Pickup LineThe line at Eatzi's salad bar
- Best Outdoor FiestaThe Patio at Matt's Rancho Martinez
- Best Wild GamePoker Night at The Lodge
- Best Watering Hole With a Water HoleBackYard Beach Bar
- Best String of PurlsPassionKnit
- Best Men's Clothing StoreBass Pro Shops
- Best Thrift
in a PinchCounter Culture (Deep Ellum)
- Best BlingOm Imports
- Best Attitude AdjustmentDr. Lynne Auerbach,
- Best Beginner Camping StoreAcademy Sports and Outdoors
- Best Auto Repair ShopAdvantage Tire Pros
- Best Wrist WorkAdventures in Synthetics
- Best FansDallas Mavericks
- Best Place
to Get MuddyL.B. Houston Park trail
- Best Place to Watch Sports With an AthleteTen Sports Grill
- Best TV Sports AnchorDale Hansen
- Best Sports Sculpture"Golden Goal" and "Frisco Flyer" at Pizza Hut Park, Frisco
- Best Sports ChiropractorDr. Mary Collings
- SPORTS: Norm Nose Sports
- Best UnderdogsFC Roma
- 13 Best Tattoo Shops in DFW, 2015 Edition
- The Customer Is Not Always Right. Here Are 10 Ways to Be a Better One.
- 7 Things to Do on Mother's Day for the Child-Free Woman
- Denton Is Obsessed with Sriracha
- Where to Pick up Your Next Date in Dallas
- 5 Kickass Dallas Women Who Could Totally Be President
- The Cheap Bastard's Guide to Great but Terrible Pre-Workout Meals in Dallas