Weird one, isn't it, for the local to write; should have outsourced this one to an outta-towner (like, say, John Travolta, who can be found in the Four Seasons in Las Colinas as often as a drunk golfer, or a movie-studio publicist who has to baby-sit celebs as they make the rounds pimping product). We've heard bad things about the W, alas. And as much as we love to drink at the Belmont, well, it's still a motor hotel; trendy's fine, but what's the thread count? Which leaves us considering the Holy Trinity: The Mansion on Turtle Creek (softest beds ever, not to mention softest hands?can't, and won't, explain), the Adolphus (sweet suites, and if it's good enough for Borat...) and the Melrose (or is that the Stoneleigh...oh, what's the dif?). Not one of 'em tops the Uptown retreat that looks, feels and acts more like 19th-century Paris: the Hotel St. Germain, which is so exclusive it has only seven suites, most with Jacuzzis and every one decorated like royalty's about to walk in, lie down and take a nap. And the restaurant's one of the best in town. So we hear. Like we can afford $650 suites. C'mon.