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• CULTURE: Whore Wars
  Not so long ago, down the highway apiece in the town of LaGrange, there was a place called the Chicken Ranch that had nothing to do with laying eggs but a whole lot to do with getting laid. For decades it operated as an illegal bordello where bad-boy politicians could get done to them what they... More >>
• Best Reason to Outlaw Skating (3 Comments)
  The Rise of Roller Derby
  Someone in Austin is gonna pay for this. When the all-female roller derby leagues of Central Texas reared their heads during our college days, we thought it was novel enough--after all, we almost went to a match once to catch And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. Thankfully, we abstained,... More >>
• Best Buried Outlaw (2 Comments)
  Clyde Barrow, Western Heights Cemetery
  The final resting place of notorious outlaw Clyde Barrow and his brother Buck is located just west of downtown on Fort Worth Avenue, mere minutes away from the glittering, soulless façades of the New Dallas (cough, cough, W Hotel, cough, cough). Sure, Old Clyde wasn't the best behaved of... More >>
• Best Fake Mayoral Candidate Promise
  Putting Big Tex on Top of Reunion Tower
  When Mayor Laura Miller announced that she wouldn't seek re-election, speculation about who might succeed her spread like a West Texas grassfire, prompting the men of KTCK's The Hardline to ask: Why not Mike Rhyner? When the beloved radio host was asked that afternoon what platform he might run... More >>
• Best Home Tour
  Summer Strut
  In only two years, the Summer Strut Home Tour, which takes place in early June, has leapt to the top of the list in this otherwise moribund category of entertainment. After all, how long can you really stay interested in Swiss Avenue? Sponsored by the AIDS Resource Center, the Summer Strut so... More >>
• Best Newscasts
  WFAA-Channel 8, 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.
  What's going on with investigative TV reporting lately? For a while KTVT-Channel 11 had pulled ahead of WFAA's News 8 with a consistent string of hard-hitting, well-reported stories on local government and politics. What happened on 11? Recently their biggies were "New cameras can change the way... More >>
• Best TV News Anchor
  John McCaa, co-anchor, News 8
  John McCaa is a serious person. He has a master's degree in politics from the University of Dallas (not easy to get) and has been at WFAA since 1984, with a solid history of street reporting behind him. But look, how do you judge news anchoring, as opposed to news news? Let's be honest, McCaa is... More >>
• Best Radio Station (Tie)
  KHYI-95.3 FM, The Range KTCK-1310 AM, The Ticket
  Outlaw country and baseball chat--what's next, an award for our fave bait shop? Not really, and this shouldn't insinuate that other genres aren't doing well on Dallas' dial; the heated battle between KBFB-97.9 FM (The Beat) and KKDA-104 FM (K104) is good news for mainstream rap fans, and... More >>
• Best Southern Sector Radio Show (1 Comment)
  Liberation Nation with John Wiley Price
  Want to know what's going on politically in the southern sector? Or all the sectors, for that matter? Well, heck, you've got the top elected official in southern Dallas talking about it every week on the radio. Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price spices his show with humor and leavens it... More >>
• Best Fired DJ (1 Comment)
  Frank Hejl
  Since we take pride in celebrating local failures, we're honored to shine our Best of spotlight on Frank Hejl, the former KNTU DJ who hasn't seen a microphone with proper wattage since May. The creator and voice behind Frequency Down lost his job (an unpaid one, no less) after airing an... More >>
• Best Radio DJ
  Tom Urquhart
  As the quality of musical radio dries up, the search for a great local DJ becomes ever more desperate. Really, if an on-air personality doesn't have the right combination of personality, humor and taste, then why bother ejecting the car tape adapter for our iPods? Thankfully, Tom Urquhart nails... More >>
• Best Club DJ
  DJ Nature
  Denton's DJ Nature calls each of his gigs "The Party" for a reason. Whether he's spinning on Friday nights at Zubar or forcing his hometown hipsters to stay up late on Wednesdays at Rubber Gloves, Nature packs rooms with the freshest live mixes in town. And we don't mean "fresh" as slang--his... More >>
• Best Local Stand-up Comic
  Corey Sutton
  Some comics are like grizzly bears, assailing their prey with vicious jokes. Others are like weasels, slyly creeping up on their targets before quietly taking them out with evil sarcasm. Corey Sutton is more like a puppy, all innocence and fluff until he takes a great big verbal pee right in the... More >>
• Best Daily Newspaper Columnist
  Scott Burns, The Dallas Morning News
  Practical but adventurous, logical but entertaining, business columnist Scott Burns made reading about boring stuff like retirement savings, estate planning and buying the perfect used Airstream trailer a lot of fun. OK, if not fun, then interesting. Burns was not part of the financial... More >>
• Best Local CD Release (2 Comments)
  The Theater Fire
  Is there a better way to describe the Theater Fire than "the Fort Worth sound"? It's the phrase co-songwriter Curtis Glenn Heath picks when asked about the "border sound" tag the band has received countless times, thanks to its blend of mariachi and country. But there's more than a mix of... More >>
• Best Hateful Computer Columnist (3 Comments)
  Dr. Emilio Bombay
  Nobody wants their tech support guy to be evil. It's emasculating enough that you can't make that 279-Error window go away, but does the guy really have to act like it's just so freaking easy? Dr. Emilio Bombay, the Star-Telegram's computer columnist, would likely answer a hearty "Yes!" to that... More >>
• Best DMN critic (1 Comment)
  David Dillon, ex-Dallas Morning News
  An insightful writer in spite of--or perhaps because of--his reflective hatred of everything suburban, Dallas Morning News architecture critic David Dillon was a must-read in a city that is rapidly redefining how it looks. As new high-rises sprang up overnight, Dillon deftly cataloged the good,... More >>
• Best Political Blogger (1 Comment)
  Michael Davis
  Although he would hate to be referred to as the conscience of southern Dallas, Michael Davis has claimed the holy ground between the unethical and hapless political leadership of the southern sector and their bigoted and hypocritical detractors. A smart blogger whose reporting on city events is... More >>
• Best Local Guilty Pleasure Blog
  Pope-rahsays.blogspot.com
  Although the formula for pop culture blogs is relatively simple--a mix of embarrassing photos, a little gossip and quick, bitchy put-downs--few people know how to do it really well. Some try to make their pop culture blog a scholarly treatise on entertainment, while others try to reinvent... More >>
• Best Book Reviewer
  Dr. Lurline Morrow
  Dallas supports a strange and wonderful little industry of professional book reviewers. Not the ones who read a new best-seller and type 500 words of yay or nay. These folks perform the books. At churches, country clubs and women's luncheon groups, the book reviewers bring their tomes alive.... More >>
• Best Art Gallery
  Metrognome Collective
  Rising gas prices be damned, bands from across the country still fill their van tanks with enough unleaded to reach our city's rock clubs. But with no money left over for a booking agent, how's an upstart band supposed to find a decent place to play? Surprisingly, the area has a few booming... More >>
• Best Hipster Art
  Art Prostitute
  At a time when restaurants, music venues and other generally sane business owners were running with tails tucked between legs away from Deep Ellum (or being shuffled out by landlords owed back rent), the Art Prostitute Gallery bravely took up residence in a ground floor loft on the east end of... More >>
• Best Onscreen Unwind
  Kewlbox.com by Blockdot
  Normally, we'd log onto MySpace.com before we'd pick up our PlayStation 2 controller, but that's just because we're bored with our games. We've played them a hundred times over, and we're typically too lazy to pull out the DDR mat. But we've discovered something that tops surfing bulletins and... More >>
• Best Secret Waiting to Happen
  Stone Street Theatre
  A night out at this new downtown theater might find you in the middle of an adult clown act or an evening of Cole Porter. Comedy and cabaret rule at this small, elegant theater tucked between Campisi's and the Thomas and Leggitt Tavern on Main and Stone Streets. While Stone is more of an alley... More >>
• Best Cheap Date
  Cool Thursdays
  For three months every summer, stingy but smart 20- and 30-something couples pack a picnic and a bottle of wine and head to White Rock Lake for the free concert series, Cool Thursdays. Actually, the series is not exactly free and it takes place at the Dallas Arboretum, but you can hear the bands... More >>
• Best-Looking Apartment Complex
  South Side on Lamar
  For the thousands of harried night commuters glancing at the illuminated signage of the stately South Side on Lamar apartment building, urban living has to seem awfully tempting. Instead of living in a garden-variety gated apartment or soulless McMansion, you could hang your hat in a... More >>
• Best Karma Balance to the Bush Library
  Embrey Human Rights Education Program
  With a $1 million grant from the Embrey Family Foundation, human rights activist and educator Dr. Rick Halperin fulfills his longtime dream to bring more attention and more students to the study of human rights. With this four-year grant, Halperin, recently elected to his third term as chair of... More >>
• Best Annual Charity Benefit Concert
  Special Care & Career Services
  Special Care & Career Services supports children, adults and families with developmental disabilities by providing key services to Dallas, Collin and Denton counties with two age-determined programs: Early Childhood Intervention and Supported Employment Services. In addition to the great work... More >>
• Best Theater (1 Comment)
  Dallas Children's Theater
  Time Magazine calls it one of the top five professional theaters for kids in the nation. But at any performance in the gorgeous, audience-friendly acting spaces at the 58,000-square-foot Rosewood Center for Family Arts, more than half the crowd will be happy grown-ups, many seeing the show... More >>
• Best Theater Company
  Kitchen Dog Theater
  Now in its 16th season presenting plays they hope will "provoke, challenge and amaze" (according to their mission statement), Kitchen Dog Theater, founded by SMU theater grads, is one of the few local theaters to host a full company of artists. Some 29 actors, directors, designers and... More >>
• Best Theater Director
  Cheryl Denson
  Actors trust Cheryl Denson, a longtime Dallas theater actor and now a much in-demand director. She's not a crack-the-whip type, doesn't bury herself in trivial research, never screams at the slackers. She just gets it done, making the process a lot of fun. An expert with comedies but no slouch... More >>
• Best Local Actress
  Heather Henry
  In Danny and the Deep Blue Sea at the Bath House, she was Roberta, desperately needy and starved for a sexual connection with somebody, anybody. In A Moon for the Misbegotten at Circle Theatre, she was Josie, an Irish-American pig farmer's wife, desperately needy and starved forÉwell, you see... More >>
• Best Local Actor
  Ian Leson
  If you bought a ticket to any Dallas theater this past year, you probably saw Ian Leson onstage. The guy worked everywhere, getting roles he admits put him on an enviable hot streak. First, Bug, a sell-out at Kitchen Dog with Leson playing a meth-crazed guy holed up stark naked in a motel room.... More >>
• Best Theater Newcomer (1 Comment)
  Clay Yocum
  Onstage he burns with the sexy intensity of a young Marlon Brando (head shaved Colonel Kurtz-style), the subtle passion of Ed Harris and sometimes the borderline serial killer rage of Kevin Spacey at his scariest. Standing still, Clay Yocum, 29, is the most interesting actor on any stage and the... More >>
• Best Theater Heartthrob (1 Comment)
  Gary Floyd
  It's impossible to listen to Gary Floyd sing without smiling. Just can't happen. Long one of Dallas' favorite singer-songwriters, Gary has set hearts aflutter at local nightclubs and piano bars for years with his laid-back charm and velvety voice. He has released five splendid CDs featuring... More >>
• Best Local Awards Show
  The Column Awards
  With so many awards shows becoming drawn-out snoozefests, the night of theater honors called the Column Awards offers a much-needed change of pace. The creation of actor/blogger John Garcia, this zippy event honors excellence throughout the DFW theatrical community. The winners are determined... More >>
• Best Free Opera (1 Comment)
  Dallas Opera Guild Vocal Competition
  Easily the best-kept secret in the tony local opera enclave is the annual vocal competition for up-and-coming singers sponsored by The Dallas Opera Guild. Usually held in mid- to late March at Gooch Auditorium at UT Southwestern Medical Center, the competition was founded nearly 20 years ago to... More >>
• Best Acting School (1 Comment)
  KD Studio Actors Conservatory
  KD Studio doesn't just teach actors how to hit their marks and not bump into the furniture. It's a place to study acting as craft and profession. Seriously. For 26 years, KD Studio has been training professional actors for stage, film and television and is one of the few accredited,... More >>
• Best Talent Agency (1 Comment)
  The Horne Agency
  They say you gotta have a gimmick in showbiz. Well, a gimmick and an agent. The Horne Agency is a full-service, SAG-franchised talent agency representing adults and children in movies, television, commercials, industrials, radio, print and live performances. The agency, owned by co-founder... More >>
• Best Intermission Edibles
  Theatre Britain
  Sure, their productions are terrific. Producer-actress Sue Birch and her loverly casts get giggly with British bedroom farces and raise the roof with shows such as the sexed-up Shakespeare they did last season. But adding to the big fun at Theatre Britain's stagings at Trinity River Arts Center... More >>
• Best Theatrical Comeback
  Theatre Three
  For years this has been the fossil farm of Dallas theater, the place where old plays, old actors and even older subscribers go to take naps. But this year, something happened at this dusty little theater-in-the-square. They woke up and started casting young, attractive, exciting-to-watch actors... More >>
• Best Rockin' Reality Babe
  Zayra Alvarez
  Rock Star: Supernova was the brainchild of Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, who invited two other washed-up former "legends" to follow in the tattooed footsteps of INXS, who picked a new singer in the first season of this CBS talent contest. Making an immediate splash in the first week of the... More >>
• Best Christmas Decorations
  Beverly Drive, Highland Park
  Time was we used to motor the kids over there in the van during the holiday season to see the Santa sticking out of the second-story window like a burglar caught in the act. Then the kids grew up, and for the next few years we drove the dog over there on Christmas Eve because she liked to bark... More >>
• Best Blog (That Isn't Named Unfair Park, Suckers)
  FrontBurner
  Absolutely, now that we're in the blogging biz, we're gonna insist till our dying breaths (any second now...wait...here they come...) that Unfair Park's as good as it gets. But we're kidding no one, right? We're still new to the game, and D's been at it for years; we'd be arrogant fools (like... More >>
• Best Local Music Website
  The Fine Line
  It's 2006. Everybody, their mom, their mom's mechanic and their dog have a blog. We've already heard all the hype about the democratization of information. The citizen reporter. What does it all mean? That some dude in Topeka can write an entry every day about advancements in drill technology?... More >>
• Best Use
  of Taxpayer Dollars
  The Calatrava Bridges
  What are we smoking, you ask? Uh...we'll take the Fifth on that one, but stay with us on this bridge thing. There's reason in our madness. See, we figure that regardless of what Dallas voters want or need, the city council will always have some large, pointless, high-dollar bauble on its... More >>
• Best Category We Forgot
  And our readers pick....
  We asked your opinions on this one, and except for the usual load of ballot stuffers--you know who you are--we received any number of different answers. A couple of people suggested some version of "Best Fight Against Corporate America" for local coffeehouse Standard & Pours' trademark battle... More >>
• Best City Council Member
  Mitchell Rasansky, District 13
  A certain testosterone-influenced contingent at the Observer would give Angela Hunt the nod for this award, and while she's a good council representative, our heart--as opposed to other body parts--belongs to Mitchell. Why? He's rich, so he's beholden to no one; his business is development, so... More >>
• Best Design on a Dime
  R. Keith Petersen Design
  Do you believe that a space can be aesthetically pleasing and still serve a purpose? Do you believe that good design can be achieved on a limited budget? Architectural designer Keith Petersen does, and damn, are we glad to hear it from someone local and not on HGTV. Petersen has taken the plunge... More >>
• Best Local Comic Book Writer
  David Hopkins
  English teacher by day, comic book writer by night, David Hopkins creates true-to-life characters with remarkable powers that sometimes even they don't understand. The Arlington native released his second series, Emily Edison, through Irving's Viper Comics last summer. Though Emily is a story... More >>
• Best Live Band
  The Polyphonic Spree
  Want to complain that the Polyphonic Spree has an unfair advantage in this category? Go right ahead. List all of the factors that make the Spree lopsided candidates, from the surplus of members (up to roughly 170 now, and that's not including the lion tamer...kidding) to the major-label support... More >>
• Best Nurturer of Nature
  Jennifer Morgan
  We've said it before on Unfair Park: To look at a painting by Jennifer Morgan is to be embraced by the artist herself. The incredibly prolific painter has an insane knack for putting herself into each of her works. And neither that skill, nor her raw talent, has gone anywhere despite a... More >>
• Best Soul Glow
  Hal Samples
  A good portrait is hard to come by. Olan Mills and its smoky, swirly backdrops just don't cut it. No, environmental portraiture and a more natural expression is so the way to go. A person hanging out in normal surroundings will interact with the camera, not act for it. Conversely, a bride seated... More >>
• Best Place to Be Alone
  in a Crowd
  State Fair of Texas
  Come on, do you really want anyone you know to see you gobbling down that third Fletcher's Corny Dog? That's just one of many reasons to wander the vast fairgrounds unaccompanied. It's so much more fun to hit the State Fair on your own than to have to constantly be negotiating: New cars or... More >>