Best Place To Arm Oneself For the Coming Zombie Apocalypse - 2012
Dick's Sporting Goods
All the discussion in the news of face-eating earlier this year had us giving some thought to disaster preparedness, namely how we can prepare ourselves to kill the ever-living shit out of some zombies. After some intensive intra-staff discussion, we've determined that Dick's is the finest anti-zombie outfitter there is. "Just go to a gun store, idiot!" you say, to which we'll politely have to tell you that you, sir or madam, are the real idiot here. Sure, Dick's has guns and ammo, and you can stock up on some of those. But you'll also want yourself a good baseball bat for when the bullets run out, plus maybe a nice heavy golf club. Sturdy running shoes are also a must, naturally. Mark our words: The undead hordes will inevitably turn up in Texas. Don't get caught empty-handed.