C'mon Mavs Fans! Let's Make Some Noooooiiiiiissssseeeeee!!!

This dude has zero chance. None.
This dude has zero chance. None.

Let's see, your Dallas Mavericks have a star with longer hair and a lighter mood.

They have a free Fan Jam Friday night at 7 at American Airlines Center.

And, lookie here, they have an opening at a key position - public address announcer.

With long-time voice Humble Billy Hayes moving from the area because of a family illness, the Mavs need a new voice. Open auditions are Tuesday 4-6 (you must call 214.747.MAVS to reserve a time slot) - call it American (Airlines Center) Idol.

Hayes, under the, um, guidance of owner Mark Cuban, was over-the-top, over-hyper, over-caffeinated. Yes, he was rowdy, loud and proud.

Who in the world could fill his shoutin' shoes? Let's take some stabs at.

Kevin McCarthy - The voice of Reunion Arena was understated, classy and definitive. In other words, he has no chance.

George Dunham - Might be a nice consolation prize after his nemesis nabbed his old gig.

Chuck Morgan - Would bring enthusiasm and credibility.

Arnie Spanier - The Fan's new night host must get daily IVs of 5-hour energy.

Mark Cuban - Can you imagine his rants at refs - or opposing players - blaring throughout the joint's speakers? Delicious.

Surely I'm missing someone?

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