Cowboys 28, Browns 10
I’ll expound on these during the week, but for now here’s my Top 10 knee-jerk reactions to the Cowboys’ season-opening victory in Cleveland:
10. After all those training-camp parlor tricks, Pacman Jones had the audacity to go out and bobble a friggin’ punt?
9. Gene Upshaw was great and all, but please tell me we’re not going to keep the “GU” patches and super-sized field emblems all season. Playing for the Lombardi Trophy? Yes. Playing for a guy who many old-school veterans despised? No.
8. Rookie running back Felix Jones just might be the real deal. The dude can turn subtle cuts into drastic moves, all performed at full speed. Delicious.
7. Not real sure why Wade Phillips went for fourth-and-one in the final minute. Yes, it sealed the deal. But if it’s me -- first game of the season -- I let Nick Folk try his first field goal with zero pressure. You don’t want his first attempt of the year to be a game-decider Monday night against Philly do you?
6. Someone please enlighten me on the Geico/Caveman tennis commercial. Caveman says “I can’t believe I’m beating Billie Jean King!”, to which King retorts “You haven’t even won a point.” He tells her to look at the score-boarrrrrrd and, sure enough, he hasn’t won a single point in three sets. I understand he gets furious at the Geico signage/sponsorship because of the running feud and all, but why does he think he’s winning the match? Because, alas, he’s a caveman? Or am I actually dumber than a caveman not to get it?
5. Prediction: The Cowboys won’t go 16-0 if they commit 11 penalties per game.
4. Fox’s annoying, animated robot thingamajig is at it again. I have a hundred questions/problems concerning its existence, but let’s start with this: Why is it No. 34? Sweetness is rolling over in his grave.
3. What was more impressive, Tony Romo displaying quiet, calm feet in the pocket or Tony Romo proving he can take one on the chin?
2. Some of us wondered aloud if Marion Barber’s ferocious running style could withstand 16 games as a starter. It took one game to get our answer.
1. Numerous times I’ve pitched a fit about the utter uselessness of sideline reporters. Yesterday was a prime example. When Barber was taken into the locker room for x-rays on his ribs, where was Fox’s forehead of knowledge Pam Oliver with an update? My guess: Scripting a fluff mini-feature that went something like this: “I talked with (fill in the blank) last night and he told me that the Cowboys are going to play hard and try to win. Back to you in the booth.” -- Richie Whitt
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Observer's biggest stories.