Psst, Over Here. It's the Perfectly - Painless? - Excuse to Watch Some March Madness Today
If St. Patrick's Day wasn't a good enough excuse to let the boss man cut you loose early to go drinking, perhaps you should consider a vasectomy.
That's right, you heard me.
Dallas urologist Dr. Mitch Moskowitz is offering his version of March Madness, in the form of a vasectomy complete with doctor's orders to stay home, lay on the couch and watch basketball. With, of course, a bag of frozen peas on your crotch.
As part of his "Sport Snip" special, Dr. Mitch will throw in a gift card for pizza, wings, sports snacks, beverages and even a bracket. If you need pointers - on the games that is - feel free to use my cheat sheet.
And, for those of you cringing, there is no scalpel involved. Just a 15-minute out-patient procedure.
"Scheduling the procedure to coincide with our favorite college basketball madness makes perfect sense," says Dr. Moskowitz, a member of Dallas Urology Associates who has performed more than 1,000 similar procedures over the last 15 years. "The vasectomy is a simple, safe procedure, and while it is practically painless, discomfort and minor soreness for a few days afterward is common. The more you move around, the higher your chances for increased discomfort and swelling. The best thing you can do is keep the area in question on ice - stay in a reclined position with a bag of frozen peas and keep your mind distracted."
Let me know how it turns out.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Observer's biggest stories.