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The Oscars: My Top 10 Observer-ations

10. Funny, but I don't think Justin Timberlake is Banksy. Is he?

9. As far as early-year Super Bowls of industries go, give me football (Super Bowl), followed by music (Grammys), auto racing (Daytona 500) and movies (Oscars).

8. Original score? Original song? Sound mixing? Sound editing? Enough already. There should be two Oscars awarded for sound: Soundtrack and sound effects. That's it.

7. The King's Speech looks very dull. Very English Patient-ish. But I'm going to trust the Academy and watch it. Bet I'm disappointed.

6. Wait, why is the color of Jennifer Hudson's face three shades darker than her chest and arms? And speaking of people in need of Garanimals for their epidermis, Christian Bale has black hair, a pink face ... and an orange beard.

5. Hell to me would be eternally listening to nothing but Randy Newman over-singing Disney/Pixar title songs - every stinking one of them which includes some variations of "Friend." Vomit.

4. Everyone breathlessly comments on womens' dresses at The Oscars. There's cleavage and leg and flowing chiffon and elegant colors. Meanwhile, every dude gets one choice: black tuxedo.

3. 94-year-old Kirk Douglas walking to the microphone with a cane was sad. But his mind was sharp as ever. Then Melissa Leo accepted an award for The Fighter, dropped an F-bomb and left using Douglas' walking stick, thereby surprisingly making Douglas only the second-most interesting human being on the stage.

2. While co-host James Franco kept reminding me of the cab driver in Scrooged, Anne Hathaway was sexy and spunky while breathing some fresh air into what is sometimes a stuffy show whose cumberbund is too tight. Kept waiting for her to get naked, but I guess it was a little optimistic that Love and Other Drugs would suddenly get nominated.

1. Considering Trent Reznor's deliciously dark past with Nine Inch Nails, I figured he had zero shot for an Oscar. The fact that he won for the soundtrack to The Social Network proves either that Reznor is a cleaned-up commercial sellout or that Hollywood has an open mind. I'm going with the latter.


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