The Top 10 Couples I'd Like to See on DWTS
Granted, it would force me to actually watch the ridiculousy cheesy show, but I'd be willing to stomach Dancing With The Stars' sequins and sass and smarminess of Tom Bergeron if only I could orchestrate whom was boogieing down with whom.
Following in the "Foxtrot" footsteps of Emmitt Smith, Cowboys' Hall of Famer Michael Irvin will be on this season's show. I hear that Troy Aikman declined an invitation last year and Tuesday morning on 105.3 The Fan owner Jerry Jones said during his new weekly show that - despite his nifty moves in those Papa Johns's commercials - he doesn't consider himself a candidate.
"I had the step at one time," Jones said, "but these days it's a little off."
For me to get into DWTS, I want star power. I want sports. I want drama. I want conflict. I want skin. I want couples. I want ...
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10. Terrell Owens 'n Dalai Lama: Hubris, meet humility.
9. Chuck Liddell 'n Tito Ortiz: Nothing like two angst-riddled arm-bars moving in sync.
8. Shawn Bradley 'n Nastia Liukin: By my estimation, they'd see eye-to-pelvis.
7. Muhammad Ali 'n Joe Frazier: Even now, I'd pay to watch them "Tango."
6. David Duke 'n Jesse Jackson: Cue Michael Jackson's "Black or White." Let's "Waltz."
5. Rosie O'Donnell 'n The Grim Reaper: Guess which one we want "eliminated"?
4. Brett Favre 'n Pete Sampras: The dance is called "Retiring With Class." Pete, you lead.
3. Anna Kournikova 'n Maria Sharapova: Is there a dance called "The Pillow Fight While We Rip Each Other's Clothes Off"? No? Okay, just a little Dirty Dancin' then.
2. Josh Hamilton 'n Johnny Narron: Closer, Johnny. You've got to hold him closer!
1. Mark Cuban 'n Kenyon Martin: Ooh the sparks! Ooh the intensity!! Ooh the obscenities!!!
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