Whitt's End: 10.16.09
Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*According to my very unscientific research conducted on this very blog over the last two years, the most sensitive, whiny, irrational folks on Earth are: 1. Ticket P1s; 2. Right-wing Republicans; 3. Oklahoma fans. So if you wore your OU T-shirt while turning off 1310 AM just long enough to vote for George Dubya, my
*Biggest disappointment through five Cowboys games: Martellus Bennett. Pegged for a breakout season by geniuses like myself, he's got four catches for 40 yards. Some at Valley Ranch are whispering that maybe the tight end is more focused on his alter ego rather than his playbook. Crossing my fingers that ain't true.
*Chill down, Rangers fans. The team is saying goodbye to Rudy Jaramillo, not Rudy Ruettiger. My bet to be Texas' next hitting coach: Don Baylor.
*Still haven't seen Zombieland, but I wanna. Reviews, anyone?
*All hail, Highland Park. When's the last time consecutive high school graduating classes produced an NFL starting quarterback and the starting pitcher of Game 1 in the LCS? Matthew Stafford, Clayton Kershaw and the HP Classes of '05/'06, take a bow.
*I think it's neat how every spring at the exact same moment all those (Bradford pear?) trees decide to bloom simultaneously. Likewise, after all the rain this week have you seen the amazing phenomenon of thousands of ant piles seemingly sprouting from the ground? As a devout weirdo, I actually spent time wondering/estimating/calculating whether there are more ants in McKinney or humans on the planet. Pretty quick into the process Family Guy came on and I lost interest.
*In other Rangers news, fans brave enough to purchase playoff tickets for 2009 were told this week via email that their refunds would be delayed until November because the money is tied up with Major League Baseball. Or - wink, wink - they are being offered the opportunity to use the money toward discounted Dallas Stars' tickets. That's probably not slimy business, but why does it feel like it?
*I realize I'm in the minority, but I generally dislike the majority.
*Dear Rush Limbaugh, When you sell your soul to the devil in exchange for wild popularity and unfathomable wealth you are bound to sacrifice some burned bridges. One of yours smoldering in ashes is the path to being a credible part of any major sports ownership group. In other words, suck it.
*The penalty and subsequent $5,000 fine on Alan Ball's shoulder-to-helmet hit last Sunday infuriates me. Not saying the refs made a bad call, I'm saying the NFL created a horrible rule. Players wear shoulder pads and helmets for a reason. Since blows to the head and knees are now illegal, we're at a point now where football's "strike zone" is smaller than baseball's.
*Give me 22 Jay Ratliff's and I'll take my chances.
*Back to the familiar old Dept. of Credit Where Credit Is Due, on Oct. 13 NBC5 broke the story of the Dallas Morning News breaking the story on Oct. 9 about the Cowboys shit-canning obnoxious mascot Rowdy. Of course, on Oct. 5 I broke the story about 98.7 FM KLUV morning deejay Jody Dean breaking the story back on Oct. 2. In the end we're all stealing from Shakespeare I guess, but frustrating nonetheless. If only I knew someone at NBC5 to complain to.
*Void of a Cowboys' game, there is no official You Betcha this week. If you're addicted and/or desperate, take Texas and lay the 3 points. Why? Big Flop Bob.
*Speaking of college football in the old bowl de Cotton, what's your level of enthusiasm for a Dallas Football Classic New Year's Day game pitting middle-of-the-pack teams from the Big Ten and Conference USA? To me it's like allowing Kindergarten finger-painters in the Sistine Chapel, but whatever.
*Regardless of your political leaning, you have to admire John McCain's daughter's big ... ambitions.
*As of this week, Dallas has an Opera House. I love me some classical musical, but gawd I hate Opera oooooooooooooooover-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingerrrrrrrrrrrssssssssss.
*Yeah, but what if Weekend at Bernie's was real?
*Now we're getting somewhere. Instead of Jessica Simpson or Candace Crawford, Tony Romo spent time last week working out with Tiger Woods at Valley Ranch. Hopefully Tiger's advice to the quarterback was to stop laying up.
*Cool story: SMU football coach June Jones walks through the weight room one day and sees a giant of a man working out. Turns out it was 6-foot-8 nationally renowned shot-putter and Estonia native Margus Hunt. Presto change-o: Recently Hunt blocked two field goals and was named the Conference USA Special Teams Player of the Week.
*The Dow Jones hurdled the 10,000 barrier this week. The recession is hardly over, but last time we saw 10,000 we were headed in the opposite direction. All things considered - and, no, I'm not totally crediting Barack Obama - we're better off this October than last, no?
*Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement. In a related story, he sucks. And I'm still not sure if his Chris Gaines bit was stunt or real.
*I like a Dr Pepper every now and then. I also have been known to bee-bop until the wee hours to ooncha-ooncha techno music with a beat as fast as Felix Jones. Personally, I'd be one pissed off mutha if overrated Dr. Dre sashayed into my party and had the audacity to put a DP can on my turntable in the name of "slower is always better."
*With no Cowboys game this weekend I'm going to use the free time to - what else - take in some sports. I'll be at Stars-Bruins tonight, Texas-OU tomorrow and on Sunday, some serious NFL observation in the name of the Sabbath. Peace be with you.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Observer's biggest stories.