Whitt's End: 1.7.11

Whitt's End: 1.7.11

Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*If Bill Parcells fit too snug and Wade Phillips was a size too loose, Jason Garrett fits juuuuust right.

*Maybe I'm naive and gullible and biased in favor of Garrett, but until otherwise I'm going to believe owner Jerry Jones when he says the new coach has real power. You?

*All you folks who call Dirk Nowitzki soft and overrated, just look what happens when he's gone. The Mavs are 2-4 since he sprained his knee. Sans the best player in the history of the franchise, Dallas would struggle to make the playoffs.

*Andrew Luck looked like an NFL-ready star quarterback in the Orange Bowl. Despite assuredly being the No. 1 pick in the April draft, he decided to stay in school. I can't fathom having the option - much less the maturity - to pass up a guaranteed $50 million. If the NFL institutes a new rookie salary cap in its collective bargaining agreement, Luck may regret this universally lauded move.

*So a publishing company has edited the n-word (changed 219 times to slave) out of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I read it in junior high and I acknowledge that it's a classic. But, unfortunately, to stay relevant and stay read the book needs to be politically correct. Think of all the songs you never would have heard if not for a "radio edit" version. In fact, Cee-Lo's "Fuck You" is up for a Grammy this year. That is, the edited version.

*In case you haven't noticed I'm a naturally obsessive skeptic. When it comes to golden-throated homeless dude Ted Williams, something's fishy. A guy stands on a corner in Dallas with those pipes and a "God-given voice" sign and I guaroontee Fox4 has him on the news by sundown. What took so long for him to be "discovered"? And we're supposed to believe that the video was shot and uploaded last week in Ohio. Really? Green grass in Ohio in January? Pretty sure that intersection is covered in snow. But go ahead, embrace the fairy tale while you enjoy the gifts that Santa (wink) brought you. And while you're at it, take a second to ponder the out-of-work radio deejays who haven't been arrested 12 times. Who haven't turned to drugs and robbery, but instead have taken jobs as waiters in an effort to make ends meet and stay off the streets. Pretty sure they'd enjoy some voice-over work. But nooooo, let's fling fame and fortune on this dude. I just don't get it.

*A-ha, so that's what Greggo spends his money on. Touche.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Went on a date this week and took the girl to a steak n' wine dinner. Nothing too fancy, but nice. As I'm paying the bill she catches my eye and says "Come back to my place and let's ..."

*Smart move by the Texas Rangers re-signing David Murphy. To me he's the most underrated Ranger. And don't think Josh Hamilton isn't happy this week. He sees Adrian Beltre get $80, possibly $96 million and is licking his chops at upcoming contract negotiations.  

*Cowboys' biggest needs in the draft/free agency: 1. Safety. 2. Offensive line.

*Tell me, is there one person in America who actually thinks those Coors Light fake press conference commercials are funny? Out-of-place audio can be entertaining. It's not the idea, it's the execution. As a guy who likes to laugh -- and even more as a journalist -- I'm offended. Been at this for 25 years in this market and, no, you don't get to waltz into a post-game NFL interview room with an open beer. Unless you're Randy Galloway.

*Saw Little Fockers over the holidays. Very very meh. Looking forward to The Rite. Exactly the type of light-hearted, feel-good flick that yanks me to the theater.

 

*In the January 1 loss in Milwaukee where Caron Butler tore up his knee, the Mavs' J.J. Barea (29) and the Bucks' Earl Boykins (26) combined for 55 points. That's got to be some sort of record for two players under 6 feet, doesn't it?

*Pretty sure the world isn't coming to an end, but animals dying all over the globe is kinda creepy. The oil spill? God's wrath? Or is just that each January this happens and we never notice? But come to think of it there are more ominous signs of the Apocalypse: TCU in the Rose Bowl; the Rangers in the World Series; a bisexual (Roberto Alomar) in baseball's Hall of Fame; Mike Modano a Red Wing; the Cowboys hiring a redhead ... Weird?

*Now that he's accepted yet another involuntary position change -- this one a diminished role to DH -- might the Rangers' Michael Young go down as the best teammate in the history of Dallas/Fort Worth sports?

*Fascinated by companies' advertising slogans. Seriously, are they handcrafted by first-graders? Bud Light: Here We Go. And Chevrolet: Chevy Runs Deep. Someone was actually paid a lot of money for coming up with those. I shake my head slowly.

*I'm tired of seeing ESPN on the set in Arizona, but I'll never get weary of those cool shots they have flying through the Grand Canyon. One of the places on my bucket list. Before I kick it, I wanna spend the night on the floor of that joint.

*In the NFL this weekend give me the Saints, Colts, Ravens and Packers. In Monday's BCS National Championship Game I'll take Oregon's relentless speed over Auburn's one-man band. But I'd take TCU over either one of them.

*"... do a puzzle." Swear. And she was serious. Didn't even know they made puzzles anymore. But I gotta tell ya, it wasn't that bad.

*This weekend? Weird without a Cowboys game. Not quite sure what to do with myself. Guess it's time to spend some gift cards. Don't be a stranger.


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