Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
Major Near catastrophic computer meltdown this morning at 8:19 a.m. Outta nowhere, the dreaded blue screen. Bottom line: Whitt's Dead End. $%^&*$#!! Expect, fingers crossed, re-construction sometime this afternoon right about now. Thanks for your patience.
*Your Texas Rangers this afternoon are holding an official ribbon-cutting in their new Hall of Fame at the ballpark in Arlington. Place is free, and it's in right-centerfield in the space formerly known as the Legends of the Game Museum. Nolan Ryan will be on hand, but the best player in Rangers' history won't be. Goes by the name of Pudge Rodriguez.
*Happy Easter! It's nice that we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Here's how it went down: He's hanging on the cross. Guarded by Roman soldiers. Then these valiant bunnies sneakhop up and distract the sentries with painted eggs. Oh, forgot to tell you, on the way the bunnies robbed a chicken coop. The guards chase the bunnies, who hide the eggs in the meadows. And, somehow, chocolate. No? Fine, you explain it.
*Not sure if fully trust Doug Free at left tackle. Real sure I don't trust Alan Ball at free safety. Jerry Jones has done something, now there's pressure on him to do something more.
*Mike Modano's in the twighlight of his career with the Stars. Dirk Nowitzki isn't too far behind for the Mavs. Both put their respective teams and sports on the Dallas sports map with points and wins and All-Star appearances. Modano has a championship trophy; Dirk doesn't. Does that mean Modano has had the better career in Dallas?
*Hilarious that when it's not wagging a sanctimonious finger at the liberal, perverted left, the Republican National Committee is firing staffers over $2,000 trips to sex-themed lesbian bondage joints in Hollywood.
*Went to a, um, let's call it an "event" Thursday night in Dallas where the emcee referenced a line from what I think is a great, old movie. "This house," she said, "is clean." Of the 400 people there, about four of us got it. I am that old? Or is Poltergeist that bad?
*Who are you more excited to see pitch Monday at Rangers Ballpark, Scott Feldman or Roger Staubach?
*Speaking of, we booing Ron Washington when he's introduced or we cheering him?
*Dumbest commercial on TV is DirecTV's "To Tell the Truth." When asked about HD programming, why does the cable guy "pass"? And then the Dish Network guy says something like "If this was to tell a lie, we'd be kicking your ass." Really, we're that stoopid?
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*An Alabama couple actually named their new bouncing boy "Crimson Tide." Luckily for the kid the parents weren't rabid fans of South Carolina.
*I know it's soccer, but I always enjoyed the Dallas Cup. It's this weekend at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco.
*I like this song. A lot. Still.
*Me? How about a chill weekend for a change? Come Monday night we'll be back at it, hosting the Dallas Observer's final March Madness watch party at the Hooters in the West End. Don't be a stranger.