Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*Cowboys fans rejoice. First of all you have Dez Bryant. Secondly, you're not the Denver Broncos. The same team that traded for Brady Quinn has now traded up to draft Tim Tebow. To - get this - play quarterback. Gigglelaughdoubleoverguffaw! Tebow fans take solace: By playing up in Denver, at least your boy is one mile closer to Heaven.
*After jumping up to No. 2 in Dallas-Fort Worth's sports talk ratings race last month, 105.3 The Fan has been re-leap-frogged by ESPN in March's numbers. As usual, 1310 AM The Ticket dominates the landscape, with an 8.1 rating in Men 25-54 Monday through Friday. At No. 2 is 103.3 FM ESPN at 2.2, followed by The Fan at 1.7. Bottom line: The jockeying for The Ticket's scraps continues. A little help for The Fan is on the way, as - yeah, I jumped the gun last week - long-time local voice Wally Lynn joins 105.3 on May 1.
*Iceland has volcanos? That erupt and cost the airlines industry billions of dollars? Wonder if that forgotten country believes the old addage that there's no such thing as bud publicity?
*Don't you dare reach for the panic button Mavs fans. Dallas was the best road team in the West all season. They'll win either Game 3 or 4 in San Antonio. I'm sticking with Mavs in 7.
*Texas Rangers have a lot of problems these days. Maybe Justin Smoak can cure one of them. As the top position player prospect in the team's farm system, Smoak will make his Major League debut tonight against the Detroit Tigers in Arlington hoping to do something Davis has proven time and again he can't - hit the baseball. Davis, who's a great guy I think we're all rooting for, is hitting .188 this year with 0 homers and a whopping 1 RBI through 15 games. Not nearly good enough from a first base spot that just has to produce runs.
*Hot.
*Not.
*Boy's body shows up dead in a field in Wylie. Nobody claims him. Sad. In fact, very sad. Tragic even. Always sucks when kids aren't given a fair shake in this world. But - I know, this going to make me sound very asshole-ish - don't we go a little sappy sentimental overboard on this stuff? I mean, people in Wylie are calling him "our little angel"? There's a $20,000 reward and a Facebook page dedicated to learning the boy's identity. I guess I just wish we were all as nice to living people we know as we sometimes are to dead people we never met. And, I'm sorry, but I'll betcha the pic of the 11- and 12-year-old girls in today's Dallas' Only Daily is totally staged. Three almost tweens sitting side-by-side in a field, in front of a lake, one holding a teddy bear that just happens to be facing toward the camera, another bowed solemnly looking at a cross and the other with arms folded and head buried. And none of them texting. Nope, not buying it. Olan Mills couldn't have done better.*Bryant's a great start, but the Cowboys aren't finished. They still need a free safety and depth along the offensive line. Keep Nate Allen of South Florida in mind today. Don't be surprised if Dallas moves up (maybe via a player) a smidge to get the playmaking safety in the second round.
*I really, really despise Homeowners Associations. Got a citation this week for having too many weeds in my yard. Oh yeah, one of my neighbors is hideously ugly and her fat, old ass walks her dog twice a day. You tell me which is the bigger eyesore in the neighborhood? *Don't always agree with Dallas' Only Daily columnist Jean-Jaques Taylor, but if you want the full-length Dez Bryant saga he penned a great version right here. *Our economy is better. Things are looking up. See.*Remember the 32-year-old runner who literally dropped dead at the finish line of the half-marathon in Dallas? Apparently he died because of a virus. Weird.
*Dez Bryant's gonna wear No. 88. Just like Michael Irvin. And just like, um, Antonio Bryant. Maybe they're just leftovers from 2002? By the way, jerseys are on sale today at all Cowboys Pro Shops.
*Your weekly musical pickmeup. Feel better?
*Tonight I'll keep one eye on Mavs-Spurs and two ears on a dude I never thought I'd pay to see. Screech from Saved By the Bell. Truth is - I know, shocker right? - I ain't paying. And, truther is, I expect his stand-up set at Hyenas to be a train wreck.
