Whitt's End: 9.4.09

Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*93.3 FM - the station formerly known as The Zone, The Bone, Quality Rock and who knows what all else - has for the last day or so been "stunting." That is, playing nonsense in advance of flipping formats. My station - 105.3 - played college fight songs ahead of changing from Live to The Fan back in December. Today at Noon we'll find out what's in store for 93.3. Maybe a simple switch to something like Christian Rock. Or - it's a Cumulus station - so it could be that The Ticket is somehow involved. Heading into the Dallas Stars' season, they could use a stronger night signal for games. Who knows, maybe 1310 AM The Ticket becomes 570 AM The Ticket? Or maybe 93.3 The Ticket? Or maybe it's a simulcast arrangement? These are not, by the way, educated hunches. Merely guesses.

*What to look for in tonight's Cowboys-Vikings' pre-season finale? No injuries. Other than that, no injuries.

*Erin Andrews makes me sick. Was her privacy criminally violated? Indeed. But if it was truly a traumatic experience, wouldn't she want it to quietly go away? Instead, she okayed the running of a sexy spread in GQ magazine and of course on Sept. 11 - likely wrapped in a flag and with a bald eagle on her shoulder - she'll appear on Oprah for the sole purpose of crying. And, have you heard her recent 911 tape? Not saying it proves anything, but it damn sure gives a tad more credence to the conspiracy theorists who think she staged the video. Listen to it and try not to envision Anchorman's Ron Burgundy saying "I'm a pretty big deal."

*To those actually pondering holding your kid(s) out of school next Tuesday to shield them from the human mouth words of Evil Obama, what exactly is the lesson? To me it says "Respect authority. Unless, of course, it's someone who doesn't think exactly like you. In which case, you're justified in breaking the law." I was embarrassed and frustrated by George Bush countless times, but he was our/my President and I never disrespected him to this proportion. Seriously, it's alarming. When the President talks, it is almost our civic duty to at least listen? Not to agree. But to listen?

*Let's hope the Rangers sending out news of ticket sales for possible ALDS games at The Ballpark isn't as jinxy as Laura Miller's Mavs' parade route.

*We cherish, and rightfully so, iconic voices Brad Sham and Eric Nadel. They've been with their respective teams more than 30 years. Which makes Vin Scully's 60 years as play-by-play voice of the Dodgers even more amazing.

*With Michael Young sideline for two weeks, who will lead the Texas Rangers? Who will hit over .300? Who will keep the clubhouse humble after big wins and upbeat after demoralizing losses? I say that, behind the Mavs' Dirk Nowitzki, Young is Dallas' most indispensible player.

*I haven't seen all his movies, but after watching Lady in the Water and The Happening I can pretty much go out on a limb and guarantee that M. Night Shyamalan sucks ass.



*I know it's a stretch, but if the Cowboys win a Super Bowl will the parade be in Dallas or right down Randol Mill Road?

*Another example of how - God or not - life ain't fair.

*A definitive sign that the Apocolypse is nye upon us: You can actually wager on Lingerie Football League games. Dude, that's sick. And, strangely hot. Your Dallas Desire, by the way, kicks off its four - that's right, four - game schedule on Sept. 25 in Grand Prairie.

*Wonder which actually leads to more affairs: Facebook or Ashley Madison? Betcha I heard "Facebook is the devil" five times from different people this week.

*I'd like dogs a lot better if they came with remote-controlled mute buttons.


*From the Dept. of Credit Where Credit is Due: My pawdnuh Newy Scruggs - inadvertently, mind you - stumbled upon a clever nickname for the Cowboys' two-tight end set featuring Jason Witten and Martellus Bennett: The Bitten Formation. And, not sure who came up with it but I first heard it on The Ticket this week, calling JumboJerry the "Screen Monster" made me jealous. Nice.

*Cristal Taylor wasn't pregnant with Dirk's baby after all. Well, surprise surprise! Gawd I hate liars. Hate 'em!

*On Aug. 28 - a full 64 days before Halloween - my neighborhood Tom Thumb set up the plastic pumpkins and set out the bags o' candy. To put it in perspective, it'd be like displaying Fourth of July flags on May 2. To get in the spirit I went to sleep for the night yesterday at 3 p.m., celebrated New Year's at 6 and did my taxes after dinner, which was, of course, bacon and eggs because, ya know, it's never too early to get a head start on 2011.

*Is it just me or does this week's column have a negative vibe? Let's fix that. Um ... okay, I like girls with black nail polish and college football players without tiny sweatbands on their biceps. (Smiley face.)

*Since I'm no longer burdened by weekend radio gigs - can I get a "Hallelujah!"? - I'll just gently remind that I'm on 105.3 The Fan weekdays 10a-2p. And thanks for the kind comments earlier this week. I was pleasantly surprised.

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