Awkward Adolescence

As phenomenal as High School Musical and its sequel are, every time I watch them I can't help but wonder how much better they'd be if the characters were ice-skating. The first time Troy and Gabriella kissed, I imagined Zac Efron crouching, then lifting Vanessa Hudgens spread-eagle above his head, twirling together on the glassy ice like a spinning top made of pure beauty. It would have been lovely. If you ask me, nothing less than a perfectly executed triple axel could adequately express the joy of young love, though a butterfly spin would do in a pinch. A donut spin would convey so eloquently, yet wordlessly, Troy's inner conflict about whether to stick with basketball or follow his musical performance dreams. I've sent hundreds of letters and e-mails from a phonebook worth of pseudonyms and addresses, demanding that Disney replace the original cast members with figure skaters for an "On Ice" tour, and they’ve finally heeded my demands. The magic of High School Musical: The Ice Tour comes to the American Airlines Center in Dallas Wednesday through March 30 with shows at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday through Friday; 11:30 a.m., 3:30 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday; and 1:30 and 5:30 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $15 to $65. Visit Ticketmaster.com.
Wed., March 26, 7:30 p.m.; Thu., March 27, 7:30 p.m.; Fri., March 28, 7:30 p.m.; Sat., March 29, 11 a.m., 3:30 & 7:30 p.m.; Sun., March 30, 1:30 & 5:30 p.m., 2008