Did you hear about Dakota Fanning's rehab stint last year? Of course it was a joke, though some people didn't find it all that funny. E! learned their lesson that day: Don't hire a D-list celebrity like Kathy Griffin (known for her entertaining celebrity smack-talk) to represent you on the red carpet at the Golden Globes unless youre prepared for what she may say. Kathy Griffin's lesson: Poking fun at Steven Spielberg's little blond ingénue will most definitely keep you out of any of his future productions. Not that that would have been an issue anyway. The self-proclaimed queen of the D-list (based on the Ulmer Scale, celebrity status ranges from the A-list to the C-list) knows her place in the world of the famous and has made a living out of being at the bottom. Join her in her quest for fame when she brings her stand-up to town 8 p.m. Monday at the Meyerson Symphony Center, 2301 Flora St. Tickets are $10 to $55. Call 214-528-5576 or visit titas.org.
Mon., June 26, 8 p.m.
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