Boning For America

One-on-one relationships are so ... two-person. For those who prefer other mathematical permutations of the standard model, there’s the 50 Shades of Erotica Swinger’s Ball. I know what you’re thinking: “But Observer, aren’t swingers’ conventions confined to the humid nether regions of Central and Southern Florida?” That’s a logical assumption, but also a flawed one. The Swinger’s Ball happens in Dallas this weekend, is designated as a “black tie formal affair” and — in addition to featuring his/hers stripper shows, pile-on playrooms and extremely awkward continental breakfasts — is also a military fundraiser. It’s true! All of this weekend’s cross-pollination boning goes to support the Wounded Warrior Project, a group that’s probably very confused about its new generous benefactor. There are unlimited drinks, which you’ll need, and free parking — a baffling extra, since you should be able to “park it anywhere” at a swingers ball. The host venue, Aloft Dallas Downtown (1033 Young St.), has sold out of rooms, but three overflow hotels have been announced. Get the details and tickets at This black-tie orgy runs Saturday to Sunday.
Fri., June 28, 2013

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