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Look, lemme be straight with you: Hanukkah's a very, very minor holiday. It's so minor there are, like, 24 spellings of the thing. It's so minor the 3-year-old who lives in my house thinks the menorah's for Christmas and Santa's bringing him a dreidel. It's so minor that to celebrate the thing, the Jewish Community Center's celebrating it on Sunday, from 3:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m., by bringing in—let me get out my press release—"nationally renowned ventriloquist JONATHAN GEFFNER and his wacky sidekicks, who will re-enact the story of Hanukkah like it's never been heard before!" I know I should be more excited—hey, lookee, "latkes and doughnuts...and face painting," oy—but let's be honest about this. You get A Charlie Brown Christmas, we get Maccabee Madness at the JCC, 7900 Northaven Road. But, man, Purim is the shit, yo. Call 214-739-2737.
Sun., Dec. 10, 3:30-6:30 p.m.


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