Give 'Em the Boot

"Attention! You thought the trip down the humid, bloody birth canal was hell? You ain't even felt terror yet! While at boot camp, your sorry, diapered butt will report promptly to the latrine every hour, on the hour. What's that, recruit? No, I DON'T care if you have to go...

By Michelle Mathews

June 22, 2006

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"Attention! You thought the trip down the humid, bloody birth canal was hell? You ain't even felt terror yet! While at boot camp, your sorry, diapered butt will report promptly to the latrine every hour, on the hour. What's that, recruit? No, I DON'T care if you have to go or not. I expect to make the best damn bunch of pissers and poopers out of you in the next 24 hours or my name is not Sergeant Privy! And don't expect to go cryin' to your mama--your mamas are the ones who put you here..."Wait, Teri Crane doesn't advocate the use of military-style fear to force your child into toilet training? We got confused because her book-signing event is called Potty Training Boot Camp. Oh, well, I guess we'll have to write our own book, Scaring the Crap (and Pee) Out of Your Kid. Find out about Crane's book at three Dallas area "boot camps," including one at Babies R Us, 1501 W. Arbrook Blvd. in Arlington, on Wednesday at 11 a.m. For other locations, visit tericrane.com.
Wed., June 28

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