Quick quiz for parade fans: Is an Irish car bomb a dangerous explosive device or a dangerous but tasty beverage? If you answered "a," then the Downtown Dallas St. Patrick's Day Parade is your kind of party. If you answered "b" you might be too hung over from Saturday's Greenville parade to make it. The venerable downtown event on Sunday should be a feast for the senses. See the firetrucks! Hear the bagpipes! Pat the Cope! That would be Pat the Cope Gallagher, marine minister in the Irish government. He'll be the chief Irish dignitary at the parade, unless he's outranked by the impressively titled Irish Person of the Year, Sue Faulkner (she's actually from Dallas, but who's counting?). Also heading down Ross Avenue from the Arts District to the West End will be an array of marching bands featuring the North Texas Caledonian pipers and the St. Catherine's marching band imported all the way from Donegal, Ireland--as if Pat the Cope wasn't atmosphere enough. Proceeds from the pre-parade brunch will go to the IRA, er, we mean the ATC, Autism Treatment Centers of Texas. If things sound a little too tame, then take advantage of the ogling opportunities for all ages provided by the Dallas Desperados Dancers and Ms. Senior America. Gumby will also be on hand, though not played by Eddie Murphy, dammit. The parade's grand marshal is Dallas police chief David Kunkle, another reason to leave the green beer at home. Parade starts at 2 p.m., followed by a free festival in the West End until 7 p.m. Details are available at www.irishparade.com. --Rick Kennedy
We're sure that once upon a time, buying vowels and trying to guess the price of a toaster oven were the hot concepts in quiz shows. And let's not forget Jeopardy, which requires its answers in question form. But this is 2005, the era of The Onion readers and Daily Show watchers. NPR's quiz show, Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me, adapts accordingly with interview questions based on potential for humorous wisecracks, fake news stories and limericks to decipher. Host Peter Sagal and scorekeeper Carl Kasell, with panelists Charlie Pierce, Kyrie O'Connor and Roxanne Roberts, host a live show at 7:30 p.m. March 10 at McFarlane Auditorium, 6405 Boaz Lane. Tickets are $30 to $90. Call 214-373-8000 or visit www.npr.org/programs/waitwait. --Stephanie Durham
Give 'Em Credit
The people of Wilmington, Delaware, are out to get us. On a weekly basis, they mail us their tempting offers--promises of zero percent for six months and no interest on balance transfers. Maybe some people can handle credit cards; we're junkies. So we are astounded at Suze Orman, who begins a chapter of The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke, "Used correctly, your credit cards may be your ticket to living out your career dreams." Huh? There's a correct way to use credit cards? We're off to find out more at Orman's latest book tour, aimed at Gen Xers who need help managing debt, careers, renting and saving. Orman will talk, answer questions and sign books at Hastings, 2311 Colorado Blvd., Denton, on March 16 at 4 p.m. Call 940-565-1764. --Michelle Martinez
Salman Rushdie is best known for the Islamic bounty placed on his head for the "blasphemy" that was his 1989 novel The Satanic Verses--instead of his literary works. The position Rushdie was put in is a unique and disturbing one, but has he ever felt the Lone Star maelstrom that follows a cover story about gay cowboys? We think not. Regardless, the celebrated author lived under this death cloud for years and continued to publish lyrical, socially relevant work that inspires on both a literary and political level. He'll speak and sign at the Dallas Museum of Art at 7:30 p.m. Friday as part of the Distinguished Writers series of Arts & Letters Live. Tickets are sold out; release tickets may be available 45 minutes before the show. Overflow tickets are $15, which includes watching the program via TV in the Atrium Café. The DMA is at 1717 N. Harwood St. Call 214-922-1220. --Matt Hursh
I am, ladies and gentlemen, openly dorky for game shows. I readily admit that I love Charles Nelson Reilly, Chuck Woolery's catchphrase, "2 and 2," and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (but I prefer Reeg to that Meredith). I reign on Lingo and remember the first puzzle I ever solved on Wheel of Fortune when I was 4--"Tea and Crumpets." So with an affinity for words and games, imagine my freakin' glee when I found out that GSN was touring GET SCHOOLED 2005. From 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday at Stonebriar Centre, 2601 Preston Road in Frisco, Kimberley Locke (former American Idol finalist) hosts the vocabulary-oriented game that offers a $10,000 prize to go toward college tuition. Now I could totally sweep this thing, and that would be sweet, but why take all the fun out of it for you guys? Seriously, it's not because I excel at armchair participation and falter on the live stuff. Really. I'm sacrificing for you. Check out www.gsn.com/getschooled. --Merritt Martin
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