No Lion for You!

Lions are awesome. I wish we could have lions as pets. My lion would have a cute name so when he grew up to maim Dakota Fanning, everyone would totally be on his side. They'd be all, "There's no way Fluffykins would ever do that. Dakota's stupid Stewey-looking face must have provoked him." Sadly, we can't have lion pets, but 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays, we can all see Dallas Roars! at the Dallas Zoo on 650 S. R.L. Thornton Freeway. Although the name suggests otherwise, it apparently has nothing to do with lions. I know. What the hell, right? I got all hyped for lions. But it is introducing a bunch of new exhibits. You can see Wings of Wonder (which I would assume is about birds, but with their naming system, it could just as easily be a monkey exhibit), the Galapagos and Aldabra tortoise exhibits (probably about penguins), or the baby vipers exhibit (which I will not make fun of in any way because vipers can kick my ass). If you're a zoo member, admission is free. If you're not, tickets are $8.75 for adults, $5.75 for kids 3 to11, $5 for seniors, and kids 2 and under are free. Call 214-670-5656 or visit
Saturdays, Sundays. Starts: April 7. Continues through May 13

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