Laydeez, raise the terror alert to red and don your protective gear. Local authorities have identified a serious threat to your panties. Look out for Tom Jones, suspected leader of a known terror cell, the Panty Patrol (no confirmed affiliation with Taylor Hicks' Soul Patrol, though they have similar M.O.s.) Jones is said to be armed with a crooning voice and devastating smile, but he may also possess a WMD, or "weapon for moms' drawers." This WMD may prompt middle-aged women to toss undergarments at Jones, creating tragic loss of vital control tops. To avoid the long-term consequences of a WMD, local authorities suggest potential victims use the utmost of care in attending Tom Jones' concert at Nokia Theatre, 1001 NextStage Drive in Grand Prairie. The show begins at 8 p.m. on Thursday. Tickets are $39.50 to $75. Call 972-647-5700.
Thu., June 15, 8 p.m.
Get the Events Newsletter
What's happening in town? From underground club nights to the biggest outdoor festivals, our top picks for the week's best events will always keep you in on the action.