The chickweed has sprouted a lovely green in the back yard. The first crabgrass and dandelions are starting to peek out of the soil. Somewhere, under the fetid carpet of unraked leaves and last fall's acorns, Mother Nature is stirring. Ah, spring. What is it but a time of renewal, of blooming life, of constant irritating reminders that it's time to do something with that ratty, overgrown hog's wallow you call a yard, you lazy bum? (Sorry. Channeling the missus there.) So, I've never had what you'd call a green thumb, but I can appreciate the work of those who do, and there's no better appreciating place this spring than Dallas Blooms at the Dallas Arboretum, beginning Saturday and continuing through April 10. Think Dallas is a paved-over city filled with seedy strip malls and big-box retailers? Well, you're right, but the arboretum is the exception to the rule. Dallas Blooms will feature 400,000 blooming bulbs and tens of thousands of flowering annuals and perennials in a lush green environment filled with the sounds of live music, all of it carefully crafted and designed to make me, personally, feel like crap about the state of that hog's wallow. Never mind. You don't have to be a great cook to enjoy a good meal, and besides, if you get tired of looking at plants, you can always take a shady seat and check out the brides who come to the arboretum for wedding photos. Flowering plants and the flowers of womanhood--it sure beats mowing your own yard. Visit www.dallasarboretum.org or call 214-515-6500 for ticket prices and a list of special events. --Patrick Williams
Most people know him as Pagoda, Mr. LittleJeans or the guy who spins the plates in The Terminal, but the 87-year-old entertainer is actually named Kumar Pallana...and aside from his vaudeville and acting talents, he is also a yogi. He's not keeping it to himself, though. From 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Sunday, Pallana (and Jeffry Farrell of Little Yoga Studio) offers yoga sessions covering poses, breathing exercises, balancing, meditation and more (and possibly plate spinning). The cost is $162, and the weekend seminar takes place at Freddie Poole's Martial Arts, 5757 W. Lovers Lane, Suite 213. Call 214-660-9200 before you can say, "I don't know, man, I lose my touch, man," just like Pallana. --Merritt Martin
Home Cheap Home
I may not be destitute exactly, but I can't help but get a little green with envy when I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Being a serial apartment renter and seeing those deserving families get the Super Bowl version of a home to call their own, I not only tear up, I fume a little as well. Hate to admit it. But if you're like me, come out to Dallas Market Hall, 2100 N. Stemmons Freeway, on March 4 through March 6 for the Dallas Home and Garden Show and learn to fake that perfect home with handy and chic tips to call your own. Lee Snijders of HGTV's Design on a Dime will share his talents on the last day of the show. Enjoy gourmet cooking, outdoor living and new home-design trends. Admission is $8.50. Visit www.texashomeandgarden.com. --Jenice Johnson
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Before you start cruising the streets looking for sexed chicks, assess your priorities. Are you a breast man? Just trying to score the best lay in town? Or maybe you just like the strut of a long-legged Dominique? Whatever your taste, there's bound to be a hen out there to suit your needs. This weekend, Green Living hosts G.W. Winborn, an urban chicken fancier, to discuss the benefits of maintaining your own backyard flock. For starters, you'll have the freshest free-range eggs around. Plus, you'll have fewer pesky bugs, slugs and snails and great organic fertilizer in the form of chicken droppings. It's a great return on 99 cents (the price a friend recently paid for a Buff Orpington chick). Winborn will discuss backyard chickens and exhibit one of his "ladies" at Green Living, 1904 Abrams Parkway, on March 5 at 10 a.m. The event is free and space is limited, so reservations are requested. Call 214-821-8444. --Michelle Martinez
Here's an offer we can definitely refuse. Come to Bug Day at the Dallas Museum of Natural History from 11 a.m. till 4 p.m. Saturday, and you can actually touch a hissing cockroach and other bugs. The big question, of course, is "Why?" Unless we're talking about the sole of a shoe, why would anyone want to see, let alone touch, a roach that makes noises? "It's an educational experience," says Monica Contreras, the museum's marketing director. "It's fun for the entire family." The Addams family, maybe, but we're talking roaches here. "They're harmless. Actually, they're much cleaner than the German cockroaches in your home." Whatevah. That's not exactly a high bar. You don't have to touch any bugs, but on Bug Day you can see tons o' the critters and learn why the world's ecosystem is dependent on them. Call 214-421-DINO, ext. 200, or visit www.dallasdino.org. --Patrick Williams