Writers' Block

Adrienne ran her soft hands across Roland's bulging chest. In her seven years as a lonely, stranded homemaker in Laredo, she had never felt a body as tremendous as his, while he had not known the touch of true love since his high school sweetheart fell victim to a yearlong...

By sam Machkovech

July 22, 2004

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Adrienne ran her soft hands across Roland's bulging chest. In her seven years as a lonely, stranded homemaker in Laredo, she had never felt a body as tremendous as his, while he had not known the touch of true love since his high school sweetheart fell victim to a yearlong battle with malaria while building homes for children in Costa Rica. But today, their eyes met, like two sabers clashing in medieval battle, and they finally spoke the words that had filled their hearts for the past seven months. "Roland," Adrienne cried, "we must attend the Annual Romance Writers of America Conference this week...together."

"I have wanted to say the same to you for so long," Roland replied while pulling Adrienne's heaving bosom to his aching body. "Everything we've ever wanted to know about making it big in the romance fiction business will be there, from meeting and networking with established writers and publishers to learning the secrets of the craft from Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies author Leslie Wainger. There are four full days of panels, workshops, parties and giveaways, and thanks to the money we've saved up, we'll surely be able to afford the $485 registration fee for the entire conference."

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you," Adrienne whispered. "I used our savings to pay for my dying husband's kidney operation, which makes our adulterous love affair even more tragic and romantic. Whatever shall we do?"

"Worry not, my love," Roland declared. "We can still visit the Readers for Life Literacy Event, where more than 450 authors will be on hand to autograph books for charity. Best of all, the book signing, like our eternal love, is free." Adrienne's face glowed with a smile as bright as the sun, and she embraced her secret lover with the hope that only a free book-signing event could bring to her heart.

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