Before I walked into the Cindi's on Central, I had no idea why they'd open a location that's literally next door to The Casket Store. (Same question to you, Boxes to Go. You offering speedier service? I guess it's pretty much impossible to open up any store next to The Casket Store and have it sound normal. There's a flower shop in the same strip, and that makes total sense and still creeps me out. Just the name "The Casket Store" sounds so bulk purchase. "Need 50 caskets? Come on down to The Casket Store! We've got the box if you've got the death!")
Slide into a booth at Cindi's, note the hangover-friendly lack of lighting and the fact that there's a 10-minute lunch wait at 11:30 a.m. and Columbo puts together that the Cindi's clientele generally fall into three camps: the wasted or recently unwasted, the work-lunch ladies and the old as fuck. And no matter how much that just-started-a-strict-diet-and-this-time-she's-stickin'-to-it assistant manager of yours says she's definitely ordering a salad, she won't. She and everybody else in here all came for the same thing: a pile o' meat to cure what ails them. Which means that Cindi's is actually smart to open up next to The Casket Store: Sooner than later, anybody who's a regular at this pastrami festival is bound to be in the market.
Too morbid? Oh, I'm sorry—I just got an eyeful o' casket. It's kinda on the brain right now. Probably why I ordered the Combo Delite, listed under their "lite options." It comes with turkey, ham, lettuce, tomato, mayo, Russian dressing, alfalfa sprouts on seven-grain toast and a side of kosher pickle. Scoff at the fact that this mayo-and-salad-dressinged, double-meatified, buttered-toastwich is under the "lite" section of the menu and it'll be clear to me that you haven't been to Cindi's. For at this Home of the Grilled Cheese With Bacon, this Land of the New York-Style Sandwiches All Available as Triple-Deckers for Just Two Bucks More, this Breakfast-All-Day Heaven, the Combo Delite is rabbit food. I liked it. Next time, when I have a little more cash and a little more hangover I'll go for the Reuben. Or that bacon-y grilled cheese. Mmmm. Is that pain in my chest love or a heart attack? Yes.
