Y'know, the East Asian-American group Far East Movement had a pretty good hit last year in "Like A G6." It was probably the only electronic-sounding pop song of last year that I wouldn't be ashamed to mix. In fact, the track was so good, I can even overlook their making up the word "slizzer'd" for their catchy hook.
I guess you could say I'm a tiger fan -- no, not a Detroit Tigers fan. A tiger
fan is a model minority fan who wants to see other minority artists
succeed because it makes all of us minorities look good.
Don't get me wrong: I
don't follow artists just because they're minorities. A good tiger fan should
have high standards. For example, if The A.V. Club gives an album a B
score, I'll simply say, "You got a B?! You're pathetic for not getting an A! B's
are just F's with two more lines drawn in!"
A tiger fan sort of
like a tiger
mom,
except that, in this case, making you practice the piano actually means something -- it
strengthens your songcraft.
So imagine this tiger fan's disappointment at the Far East Movement's latest single "Rocketeer".
It's
bewildering how tame this track sounds after "G6." It features four
piano chords. (Just four? You need more practice!) And, really, its keyboard chords mostly suggest Justin Beiber's "Somebody to Love."
It doesn't help matters that Ryan Tedder of
OneRepublic shows up in the chorus, with his oh-so-charming voice, and
wearing a douchey retro hat -- the uniform of a pretentious flatterer -- in
the video.
Meanwhile, lyrically, the track rings kinda needy and hollow,
like that pickup line about your dad being a thief and putting stars in
your eyes. It's a disappointing use of the spacey-love theme. Incubus'
"Stellar" this isn't.
With all that syrupy charm, the track sounds as if Bruno Mars wrote it -- wait, actually, he did write it! For shame, Far East Movement!
Me? I give "Rocketeer" a B.
But, remember: To a tiger fan, that's a bad thing.
