Aside from the Almighty He/She/It having the audacity to conjure up a downpour and wash out sunrise services across the Metroplex, which Texas culprit laid an egg Sunday and did the leaster for your Easter?
1. Dallas Mavericks
2. Texas Rangers
3. Chad Campbell
The evidence:
Dallas Mavericks:
Three home wins against playoff-caliber teams by an average of 20 points was swell and all, but the Mavs had a chance Sunday in New Orleans to prove to the Western Conference, to you and me and yes, themselves, that they can win a big game on the road and therefore be a dangerous team in the upcoming playoffs.
For 44 minutes it worked swimmingly, as the Mavs forged an 86-all tie. But down the stretch the Mavericks couldn't keep Chris Paul in front of them, Jason Terry took an ill-advised 3-pointer that led to a Hornets' three-point play and Dallas fell in New Orleans by 10.
What does it mean? That the Mavs will likely not finish 6th, and probably have to win their remaining two home games to squeeze into 7th and "avoid the 'noid" known as the Los Angeles Lakers. It also means they'll head into the playoffs without a legit road win since being Portland on March 11.
Texas Rangers:
With a chance to start the season 4-2 and prove they can indeed win in something other than red, the bullpen flat out snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. After Kevin Millwood staked the Rangers to a 4-0 lead heading into the bottom of the 8th inning at Detroit's Comerica Park, relievers C.J. Wilson and Warner Madrigal allowed six runs in a kick-to-the-crotch loss that will sting for a couple days.
Shortstop Elvis Andrus also committed a key error in the 8th, and Detroit's Brandon Inge had a homer (off Wilson) and the game-winning two-run single (off Madrigal).
What does it mean? That for all their bluster about pitching and defense, the Rangers are still a deficient team reliant upon offense and inadequate in the field and on the mound.
Chad Campbell:
His chance to be the first Texan to win The Masters since Ben Crenshaw in 1995 a mere 154 yards away, Chad Campbell pansy-leaked an 8-iron into a bunker right of the 18th green to keep him from winning Sunday's green jacket.
The Lewisville resident may never be in a better position. After sneaking into a playoff with Argentine Angel Cabrera and happy-go-lucky-choke-artist Kenny Perry, Campbell was in the middle of the fairway and smack in the driver's seat on 18, the first sudden-death hole. With Cabrera's second shot having kissed a tree and Perry's approached harmlessly right of the green, the door was gapingly ajar.
But Campbell, one of the purest iron players on tour, passively sailed his simple shot 30 yards right of the flag into a sand trap. He eventually missed a 6-foot par putt that eliminated him from the playoff. Cabrera won with a routine par on the next hole.
What does it mean? Campbell has now lost two majors in playoffs. After Sergio Garcia finally wins his first Grand Slam, Campbell will climb the ladder as one of the best players to never win a major.
Of the three pratfalls, which Lone Star loser had the ugliest Easter?
