11 Dads Who Aren't Having a Good Time at a Ke$ha Concert
Father's Day may have been a few weeks ago, but walking around Gexa Energy Pavilion on Sunday gave a whole new perspective on what lengths some fathers will go to support their children's choice of music. So, presented with marginal comment, a small photo essay called "The 11 Best Dads at Ke$ha/Pitbull":
11. "Relaxed" Dad
While you would expect cargo-short Dad on the left to make the list, he is immediately pushed off by "zero fucks given" shoeless Dad chilling on the blanket. If you're going to take your kids to see Ke$ha, you might as well try and relax.
10. "What the hell are these kids wearing" Dad
This poor guy was just a head on the swivel as he was constantly looking from side to side with a look of utter confusion on his face. This is a man who does not get ripped fishnets under neon shirts.
9. "Get out of my way, I need a beer" Dad
Just get out of this guy's way; he's had it with this shit and needs a beer. He made this trek at least four times by my count.
8. "Please let that not be my daughter twerking" Dad
The look of terror on this guy's face when he heard the "woos" of the Circle Twerk was almost too much to handle. Luckily, it wasn't his daughter who was trying to bounce down on a can of Bud Lite Lime.
7. "It's my daughter who's twerking, but I don't care because I'm hammered" Dad.
He's either staring straight into the madness because of all the Bud Light in his system, or having one hell of a flashback brought on by Pitbull's light show.
6. "Karen, you owe me for this; I'm getting a new set of clubs and I don't care how much they cost" Dad
He actually said this. It was awesome.
5. "Dancing Dad, young and free only 43"
Hip shake, arm pump, hand wave. Repeat ad nausea for Pitbull's whole set. He may or may not have seen Molly.
4. "Can't believe I'm missing the guy walk across the Grand Canyon" Dad
You better believe the DVR is set to Discovery channel and his "MLB At Bat" app is getting constantly refreshed.
3. "Stare straight ahead; it'll all be over soon" Dad
His inner monologue had to have been "OK, so Ke$ha only played for like an hour, Pitbull will do the same. Even if we catch a little traffic, I can get 7 hours of sleep before I have to get up."
2. "Yawn" Dad
Sitting in the first row was either David Crosby or his exact lookalike, who found this whole thing kind of boring. I mean, it's understandable: He's (most likely) David Crosby and he's done way crazier things than Ke$ha did onstage. Giant flag-waving penises were just a Tuesday to him back in '68.
1. "Crossed-arm" Dad
Crossed-arm dad was my favorite. He never moved. He took everything in stride: He was absolutely covered in glitter and the guy to his left in the body paint and Daisy Dukes, dancing like no one was watching, never bothered him. Here's to you, crossed-arm dad; you were father of the concert.
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