Jack White Should Bring His Fancy Rider and Suspect Guac Recipe to Dallas

Don't overthink this one, Jack. Just come on back to Dallas.
Don't overthink this one, Jack. Just come on back to Dallas.
Mary Ellen Matthews

It's been six long years since Jack White last played Dallas, in a show at House of Blues with the Dead Weather. It's about time he pay us another visit.

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Over the weekend, White broke his silence on the controversy that followed the leaking of his tour rider by University of Oklahoma's student newspaper last month. It was a mostly trivial story "exposing" the oh-so-mundane details of a rock star's backstage life, leading to heated debate on such pressing topics as whether or not White's guacamole recipe was spicy enough. (It was actually his tour manager's recipe.)

White called the situation out for being what it is: an over-eager attempt to lampoon a (supposedly) coddled celebrity for his extravagant tastes. In his statement, he proved himself anything but. Most music fans won't have the slightest clue what a tour rider entails, so White's most telling observation was to point out that it primarily serves the hard-working people who accompany bands on tour, and not the bands themselves.

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In most cases, the "privileges" a band receives for playing a show amount to a handful of drink tickets and a place to park their van for a few hours. Whether the students breached any legal or ethical code in publishing White's rider is similarly questionable, but it's not liable to be tolerated: White's agent William Morris Agency, which boasts acts from Adele to Snoop Dogg on its books, has warned that it may not book its artists at the school if such breaches reoccur.

So we say this: Come to Dallas instead, Jack. It's about damn time. There are a lot of reasons to come here, not least of which is that we could really care less what you or your roadies prefer to have for a late-afternoon snack.

White wouldn't have any trouble filling the 18,000-capacity American Airlines Center. If he wanted to stick with the college route, SMU's McFarlin Auditorium should prove refreshingly scandal-free. Most tantalizing of all would be a night (or two) in the soon-to-reopen Bomb Factory in Deep Ellum.

No matter where he plays, there will be some superior guac a short walk away. Although we'd suggest the queso.

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