Jessica Simpson

I can understand listening to Jessica Simpson's music: "Sweetest Sin" manages to be simultaneously trashy and classy, and the saccharine in her new version of "Take My Breath Away" could rot Tom Cruise's teeth. (Incidentally, consider how much effort it would require to actually take away Simpson's breath. I mean, has any singer maintained a higher air-to-tone ratio since Mariah Carey?) And I can certainly understand watching her and husband Nick Lachey's show Newlyweds: Deciding where to go for dinner is riveting television! But going to see Simpson in concert takes a deeper, purer curiosity about show business and its secrets. Enjoy, brave souls.

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